


You Need Some Sleep

by 1FantasticBeastThatYouCantFind



Series: The Lake House Trilogy [2]
Category: Charlie's Angels (2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Missions Gone Wrong, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23394400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1FantasticBeastThatYouCantFind/pseuds/1FantasticBeastThatYouCantFind
Summary: A mission gone wrong, a near death-experience, and her girlfriends ending up in the hospital leaves Elena feeling broken and completely overwhelmed with grief. Little does she know, she doesn't have to go through it alone.
Relationships: Elena Houghlin/Jane Kano, Elena Houghlin/Jane Kano/Sabina Wilson, Elena Houghlin/Sabina Wilson, Jane Kano/Sabina Wilson
Series: The Lake House Trilogy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748122
Comments: 30
Kudos: 135





	1. The Mission

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kind of a continuation of a previous fic I did called "The Old Wilson Place" which was a lot more popular than I thought it'd be and people really liked it. I'm not saying it's required reading but there will be a few references to it throughout this. All you need to know is that the three of them have a lake house and pet names now.

The mission was at another billionaire's giant mansion. This one was simpler than their first mission together. Nothing life-threatening. This rich evil guy was simply embezzling. Standard enough as missions go. Sabina reels the guy in. Elena makes sure the coast is clear. Jane takes him down. The three celebrate with drinks and they all go home. That's usually how it went.

The billionaire was throwing a massive party, meaning Sabina and Jane were posing as guests and Elena was hiding in another room with her laptop. Sabina had certainly caught the man's attention but she hadn't initiated conversation. She was still on the floor, slow-dancing with Jane.

 _"Better make your move soon, Sabina"_ , came Elena's voice from their tat-coms. _"Otherwise, he'll move to whatever other girl catches his eye"_

"She's got a point", said Jane. "There's hundreds of other cute girls here tonight"

"But you're the only one I see", Sabina said.

"Are you seriously flirting with me right now", asked Jane.

"I mean, I'm always flirting with you guys"

Elena's voice came yet again, this time with a hint of desperation. _"We don't have all night, Sabina. Now's not the time"_

"Why so eager tonight, Elena", Sabina said, teasingly. 

_"You know why"_ , she replied.

"Last mission before June", said Jane. "Then, we get the month off and it's off to-"

"The lake house", they all said, simultaneously.

 _"God, I love going to that place"_ , Elena said, starstruck. _"It's where we came up with all our pet names"_

"About that", Sabina started.

"Hey", Jane interrupted. "There's no going back on the pet names. Besides, it was your idea in the first place."

"I know. But it's just..." She struggled to find a way of saying what she wanted to say without upsetting Jane. "I'm still not used to 'Flopsy'"

Jane jaw fell open as an offended look appeared on her face. "Excuse me?"

"No, I'm sorry. It's cute and all. It's just... What does it mean?"

"It means you're like a cute little bunny rabbit! Like one of Peter Rabbit's sisters!"

"I know I'm little to you-"

 _"And to me"_ , Elena's voice chimed in.

"You're like one inch taller than me", Sabina objected.

_"Still taller"_

Sabina ignored her and continued her conversation with Jane. "Look, the point is I'm not cute! I'm threatening!"

Jane was laughing so hard she was crying. "You're so adorable!"

 _"Is she fuming?"_ , asked Elena.

"She is! It's so cute!"

_"Does she look like an angry little puppy?"_

"I don't!", Sabina interjected.

Jane ignored this. "She really does!" Sabina groaned as the the other two continued to laugh.

_"Well, for what it's worth, I really love the names you two came up with for me"_

"Thanks, Sunshine", Sabina replied.

"That's not fair", Jane retorted. "She calls you 'Kitten'. How is mine any worse?"

"It's a lot more straightforward than 'Flopsy'."

Suddenly, Elena's voiced chimed in. _"Guys! Greedy Douchebag III is eyeing you two!"_

Sabina and Jane looked to their right and, and sure enough, the billionaire was eyeing the two of them. Specifically, he was eyeing Sabina.

"Go get him", said. Jane. 

Sabina let go of Jane before starting to make her way to the man. However, she froze in her tracks the second she heard the cocking of a gun. Jane heard it too. It didn't come from anywhere nearby. It came through their tat-coms.

 _"Guys"_ , said the mutter of Elena's terrified voice.

Another voice came through. A deeper, tougher voice. _"What the hell are you doing here?"_

Jane and Sabina, without thinking, ran upstairs to the indoor balcony over the dance floor. They ran into the room that Elena was hiding in and saw that Elena was kneeling on the ground, her hands raised above her head and her eyes welling up with fear. Above her was a large man, most likely a bodyguard, pointing a gun at the back of her head. "Don't move or she gets it"

Sabina and Jane went into a fighting stance. "Let her go", said Jane. 

"Who do you work for?", the man demanded.

"Promise you won't hurt her", said Sabina, trying to hide the desperation in her voice.

He raised the gun and Jane and Sabina. "Answer the fuckin' question!"

Jane and Sabina put their hands behind their head. "Okay! We'll talk", Jane lied.

Sabina eyed Jane, waiting for some kind of signal. Jane gave Sabina a slight nod, prompting Sabina to throw a knife at the guard's arm. The guard screamed with pain as he dropped his gun. Jane tackled him to the ground as Sabina pulled Elena over to the wall.

"Are you okay", asked Sabina, her voice riddled with fear.

Elena was trembling. "I, uh... I think... I think I'm okay"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm okay", Elena nodded.

Sabina put her hand on her girlfriend's cheek. "Oh, thank g-"

*BANG*

Sabina was cut off by the loud and sudden sound of a gunshot. Elena couldn't hear anything after that. Just a loud ringing noise. But she could still see. She saw the horrified look on Sabina's face. She looked over and saw that the guard had managed to grab hold of the gun. She was Jane fall onto floor, indicating that she'd been shot. She saw the guard stand back up and point the gun at Jane, prepared to finish the job. And, to her horror, she saw Sabina angrily charge at the man without warning. Since the man didn't see Sabina coming, he dropped the gun as soon as the two made contact. Sabina tackled the man until the two were outside the room and they fell off the indoor balcony.

Elena was still in shock but she couldn't just stop. She took off the scarf she was wearing and ran over to Jane. She pulled up her dress so she could see the bloody gunshot wound on her torso. She began pressing her scarf against Jane's wound to try to stop the blood. Elena's hearing was starting to come back and she could hear Jane moaning with pain.

"Bos", she called out, knowing that she could hear what was going on. "Bos! Where are you? We need help!"

Jane weakly grabbed Elena's hand. "Elena... It.. It hurts so much"

Tears were streaking down Elena's face. "I know. I know it does. But you're gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay."

Jane's other hand started reaching out for something. "Where's..." She could barely talk but Elena knew what she was trying to say.

"I don't know", Elena said, trying to hide her tears.

"Is..." She was struggling to breathe. "She..."

"She's..." She saw that she wasn't the only one crying, as tears began to track down the side of Jane's face. So Elena decided to lie. "She's just going after the guy who shot you. She's okay."

When Sabina and guard had fallen off the balcony, the guard fell first. He died on impact and ended up breaking Sabina's fall. However, she still fell unconscious on impact. When the billionaire noticed that his bodyguard and the woman he was eyeing before were both lying lifeless on the ground, he knew something was up and began to run terrified out the door. However, he didn't get very far when Bosley arrived out of nowhere with six other angels and punched him in the face and he collapsed on the the floor.

Bosley turned to two of the angels. "Make sure that guy doesn't escape."

She ran inside and froze at the sight of Sabina's lifeless body. She ran over to her and placed a finger directly under her nose. She was still breathing. She turned to two of her Angels. "She's alive. Get her out of here", she commanded, trying to hide her fear.

"Bosley", she heard Elena's voice call out.

"Upstairs", she ordered. Bosley and the remaining two angels ran to an upstairs room and saw Elena putting pressure on Jane, who was almost limp. Bosley put her hand to her face. It was worse than she thought.

Elena looked behind her. She was full-on sobbing now. "Help her!"

Bosley turned to the remaining two angels. "Put something on her wound and get her to the hospital. We'll transfer to her medical ward later. Just get her out of here!" One of the angels, tall and built, walked over to Jane and picked her up. The other one took Elena's scarf from her and continued to use it to apply pressure on the wound.

Elena tried to go after her but Bosley grabbed her arm. She was still sobbing. "No, please! She needs me!" 

"Elena, she'll be okay"

"You don't know that! She needs me!"

"Elena, look at me!"

Elena looked at Bosley and saw that she was beginning to cry as well. "I'm sorry."

Bosley gave Elena the biggest hug. "It's not your fault"

Elena sniffled. "What about Sabina? Is she.."

Bosley stopped her before she could ask. "She's okay", she reassured her. "She's okay. But she'll be in the hospital too"

Elena was relieved to hear Sabina was alive but distraught to discover that she's ending up in the hospital as well. Elena began to sob even harder. Bosley held her as tight as she could. The two stood there frozen and crying for what felt like forever. Almost frozen, that is. Elena wouldn't stop shaking.


	2. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first sign of Elena's problems begin to appear as she shares a moment with Bosley.

After the mission, Elena was brought back to HQ. Bosley asked her if she wanted a lift back to the apartment she shared with Sabina and Jane but she didn't want to. She couldn't go back there unless she knew they were okay. They gave her a temporary room for the night. Bosely checked in on her and then left to check in on how everything was going. Elena laid down in the bed but she didn't feel like sleeping. She didn't want to rest if she didn't know that Jane and Sabina were absolutely going to be fine. She heard the door open, looked up, and saw Bosley walk back in.

"Oh, shit", Elena muttered. "You're back already?"

"What do you mean 'already'", asked a confused Bosley.

Elena cocked her head slightly. "It's only been ten minutes, right?"

Bosley's looks of confusion slowly morphed into concern. "Elena. It's been seven hours"

Elena shook her head in disbelief. "No, it couldn't have been seven hours" She turned on her phone and was in disbelief to discover that hours had indeed passed. 

"Don't sweat it", Bosley sighed. Times flies fast when you're asleep"

Elena rubbed her head. "But I didn't sleep. Like. At all."

Bosley scoffed. "You mean, you've just been lying in bed with the curtains closed this whole time?"

Elena ran to the curtains and threw them open. She felt the searing pain from the light in her eyes before she closed them. She threw herself back on the bed and started rubbing her eyes. "I guess I did"

Bosley sat beside her on the bed and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Elena, honey, you need some sleep"

Elena shot up, much to Bosley's surprise. "No I don't!"

"It isn't healthy to-"

Elena immediately cut her off. "I need to know if they're okay!" She buried her face into Bosley's shoulder. "I can't do anything until I know they're okay"

Her voice was muffled but Bosley understood her all the same. "Elena, I need you to look at me" Elena slowly complied. "They're going to be okay."

Elena's eyes would've begun to well if she had drank any water in the past seven hours. "Are you sure?"

"Would I lie to you?"

Elena rattled her brain. "Well, there was my first mission"

"That wasn't a lie", Bosley defended herself. "I just didn't tell you everything"

"That's not something you do to your teammates"

"I'm a trained spy. Also, I had just met you." Elena rolled her eyes. "Do you want to know how they're doing or not?"

Elena's head fell back on Bosley's shoulder. "Sorry, Bos"

Bosley started stroking Elena's back. "No, I'm sorry. I get defensive"

"Is it because of when we accused you of being a traitor?"

"Maybe", Bosley joked.

Elena chuckled, then returned to being sullen. "So how are they?"

Bosley sighed. "Well, we had them transferred to the medical ward last night. Sabina gets out today. She has a concussion."

"Do I have to keep waking her up in the middle of the night?"

"That's just for children. Besides, you're going to need a lot of sleep tonight"

"I told you I don't need-"

"If you don't get any sleep tonight, I'm scheduling you for a psych eval", Bosley said, flatly.

Elena went silent for a bit but then returned to her most pressing question. "How's Jane?"

Bosley rubbed her eyes. "Jane was shot in one of her kidneys and she's in the middle of a transplant as we speak."

Elena was almost speechless. "So how long until I can visit her?"

"Sabina gets out in a few hours. I think we can try to visit Jane then."

"How long until she's out of the hospital?"

"She'll be in for a couple more days after this but she'll be out before you know it"

"Thank god it's almost June, right", Elena asked, with a false sense of hope.

Bosley furrowed her brow. "But I'm going to talk with Charlie and I don't think we're going to let you go until we know you're all healthy"

Elena's concern slowly returned. "I thought you said they were gonna be okay!"

"All of you", Bosley repeated, now pointing at Elena.

Elena groaned. "Is this seriously just because I didn't get any sleep last night?"

"It isn't healthy and I look out for all my Angels."

"I've pulled all-nighters before, Bos", Elena defended herself.

Bosley sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just overreacting." Elena squinted at Bosley and saw that here eyes were welling up.

"Oh, shit", she muttered. "Bos..."

Now it was Elena who was comforting Bosley, who began to silently weep. "I could've lost all three of you last night"

Elena wrapped her arms around her. "It's okay. We're gonna be okay, like you said.

Bosley reciprocated the hug. Once again, the two held each other for as long as needed. Eventually, they let go of each other. Bosley wiped her eyes and placed both her hands on Elena's shoulders. "Get dressed. I'm treating you to breakfast"


	3. The Ward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena goes to pick up Sabina and visit Jane in the medical ward but her inner demons get the better of her.

Bosley and Elena stood before the door of the medical ward, ready to enter.

"Before we go in", Bosley began. "I just need to know if you'll be okay."

"I'm fine, Bos", Elena scoffed.

In reality, however, Elena wasn't okay at all. All she had been thinking at night was how Sabina and Jane were doing and if they were okay. She spent the whole time overwhelmed with fear that they weren't going to make it. Maybe that's why those seven hours flew by so fast. She spent so much time thinking of them that she didn't even pay attention to what was happening around her. Knowing that Sabina would get out and that Jane was alive certainly made things a bit easier. But that whole experience kept replaying in her yet. Just remembering the gun to her head. Remembering Jane getting shot. Remembering Sabina tackling the gunmen and then disappearing from view. Elena would've stayed in bed all day. She would've simply taken a day to herself to try to her process everything. Try to recover. But she couldn't leave Jane and Sabina. Not now. So she lied to Bosley. Lack of sleep be damned.

"I promise I'll be okay. I'll take a nap when Sabina and I get back"

Bosley sighed. "It's not just the lack of sleep, Elena. You were pretty quiet at breakfast and I almost had to make you eat your food."

"I'm just tired", Elena shrugged, while avoiding eye contact. "I just... I need to see them. Please."

Bosley shuffled her feet. "You're sure you'll be okay to see Jane?"

"The three of us have seen each other at our worst. I think I'll be able to handle this."

"If you say so", sighed Bosley, before throwing the doors open. The two of them walked down what felt like an endless hallway until they got to Sabina's room. Elena froze as soon as she peaked her head in.

"There's no one in here", she said, fearfully.

Bosley didn't believe what she was hearing. "Did you just say she wasn't there?" The two of them entered the room and saw that, indeed, the room was empty. "This can't be right"

Elena began to shake. "Bos, the room is empty and the bed is all made. She isn't here." She started to breathe fast and heavy. "What if something happened? Is she okay? Where-"

Bosley was quick to react. "Woah, Elena. Just breathe. Deep breaths, okay."

Suddenly, the two of them heard a familiar voice. "Babe, are you okay?"

Elena looked up to where the the voice was coming from and saw a worried Sabina standing next to the doorway.

"Oh my god" was all she could mutter before she ran up to Sabina and threw her arms around her. "You're okay", she said in a muffled whisper. Her eyes were beginning to well up. "You're okay"

Sabina responded by rubbing her back. "Of course I'm okay, babe", she reassured her. "I'm right here"

Bosley plopped herself down on a nearby chair. "Where the hell were you, Sabina."

"I was hiding behind the door", she explained, in a manner that was almost too casual.

Bosley rubbed her forehead. "Do I even want to know why?"

"Well, when you two walked in I was gonna sneak up on this one" She freed one of her arms and pointed down at Elena, whose head was still buried in Sabina's shoulder. "and give her, like, a surprise kiss on a the cheek. Ya know, cute girlfriend stuff. But then she started freaking out so I just... didn't do it, I guess"

Elena finally lifted her head and kissed Sabina on the cheek. "Aw, babe. That's so sweet."

"You were going to sneak up on a someone who had a gun to their head last night", asked Bosley.

Sabina realized how it sounded. "Yes?"

"If you did that, I probably would've screamed and punched you in the throat", said Elena, releasing herself from Sabina's grasp. "But only because I wouldn't have known it was you"

"Why did you think that would be a good idea", asked Bosley, more amused than annoyed.

Sabina shrugged. "I have a mild concussion?"

Elena and Bosley chuckled. Sabina hadn't changed a bit, concussion or not.

Bosley got up from her chair. "Okay, I'm going to go check up on Jane. I'll let you two catch up" She walked out the room and across the hall to Jane's room.

Elena turned to Sabina. "So how are..." She noticed the sultry look on Sabina's face. "...you?"

"The bed's empty", Sabina winked.

Elena rolled her eyes. "It's a hospital bed and they already cleaned everything"

Sabina sighed as her face fell. However, the sultry look soon reappeared. "That's a nice wall over there".

Elena clenched her fists. "No, Sabina. Please don't do the wall thing"

Sabina simply ignored her. "Ya know what that wall is missing, though"

Elena took a deep breath. Sabina had pulled this one on her multiple times. "Let me guess. It's missing me pinned up against it?"

"It's missing you pin- Wait, how'd you know the answer to that?"

Elena couldn't help but laugh at her girlfriend. "Kitten, You've used this one on me before. Several times, actually"

"I guess I'm just really proud of it", Sabina shrugged.

"You didn't even come up with it! Jane did when she pinned you up against a wall one night"

"Jane could never pin me"

"She's a five inches taller than you, cut as hell, and she's done it to you so many times"

"Well, she couldn't do it without trying"

"Are you kidding me? She does it so effortlessly! She doesn't even need-"

Suddenly, without warning, Sabina grabbed Elena by the collar of her shirt and pinned her up against the wall. She learned over and whispered into her ear. "Effortless enough for ya?" Sabina was so close that she could hear Elena breathing. Although, Elena was actually breathing pretty loudly... and fast too. It almost seemed like it was getting faster. Sabina pulled away to see a terrified look on Elena's face. She was having a panic attck. "Oh, shit."

Sabina pulled her over to a nearby chair and sat her down. She cupped Elena's face and looked her in the eye. "Tell me what you see."

Elena could barely respond. "What?"

"You're having a panic attack! I need you to look around the room and tell me what you see. Okay, babe?" She let go of Elena so she could freely look around.

"I... I... I see you" Elena kept breathing fast and heavy as she looked around. "I see... the bed... I see the, uh, painting of a lake on that wall over there" Her breathing began to slow down a bit.

"Okay, keep going"

"I... I see the door I, uh, I... I see... I see an almost empty hospital room."

Sabina stroked her girlfriend's cheek. "Are you feeling any calmer?"

Elena took a deep breath before answering. "I do. A bit, yeah. Thanks."

Sabina hugged Elena so tightly that she almost made her bones pop. However, once she let go and pulled away, Elena gave her an aggressive shove.

Sabina reacted with only confusion. "What's going on right now?"

"Don't scare me like that", said Elena in a raised voice.

Sabina looked as if she was on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry" She could barely look at Elena. "I know I shouldn't have but I just-"

Elena interrupted her. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have freaked out like that"

"No, babe", Sabina shook her head. "You didn't do anything wrong. Some asshat put a gun to your head last night. I shouldn't try to surprise you."

"But it's wrong, though? Right? I'm so messed up by all this and you're okay."

Sabina let out a light chuckle. "Baby, I'm not okay. The three of us almost died last night and Jane is gonna be here for a few more days."

"But you seem so... 'Sabina'. I guess", she said in disbelief.

"Yeah, I act like this time but that doesn't mean I'm not worried about the two of you. I mean, we risk our lives every day. I'm allowed to be scared sometimes. You can be scared, too." Elena's eyes began to well up. She was clearly fighting back tears. "And it's okay to cry". As soon as Sabina said that, Elena began to cry. Sabina gave her another big hug. "It's okay, babe."

Elena began to cry even harder. "I can't go see Jane"

Sabina didn't even react to the statement. She kept talking with Elena in a soft comforting voice. "Why not?"

"I can't look at her", she sobbed. "It's all my fault"

"It's not your fault, Laney"

"Yes, it is. You two wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me"

A sliver of concern appeared in Sabina's voice. "What did you do?"

Elena continued to sob. "If I wasn't almost shot, then-"

Sabina made direct eye contact with Elena. "Okay, hold up. Are you seriously saying that it's your fault we're in the hospital just because you were threatened with a gun?"

Elena was still crying but she realized how it sounded. "Yes?"

Sabina kissed her girlfriend on the cheek. "Elena, no offense, but it's kinda dumb to blame yourself for that. We're not gonna hate you for that. Why would we?"

"I don't know", Elena said as she continued to cry. "I'm just so scared. I almost lost you two. I just keep thinking that it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me"

"Don't say that! Don't apologize for almost dying!" Sabina was trying hard not to hid her amusemnt.

Elena's crying was beginning to slow. "So am I just overthinking?"

"You're just overthinking, babe. It's a common thing. This is a dangerous job."

Elena picked her herself up and dried her eyes. "I guess that is pretty dumb, huh."

"What am I gonna do with you", Sabina sighed.

Elena chuckled before bringing Sabina in for a kiss. "I'm so glad you're okay", she said, after they pulled away from each other.

"It's gonna be okay, Sunshine"

"I know", Elena responded, a bit unsure.

Just then, Bosley peaked her head in. "Is everything okay in here"

Sabina turned her head to face her while Elena kept rubbing her eyes dry. "As okay as it can be"

A half-smile appeared on Bosley's face. "She's ready for you two"

Sabina turned back to Elena. "I'm gonna go talk to Jane. I'm not gonna make you come. I just wanna be sure that you're ready"

Elena solemnly nodded. "I'm ready as I'll ever be"


	4. The Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabina and Elena visit a disillusioned Jane in her hospital room.

"Okay, deep breath", said Bosley, as they stood in the hallway between Jane's hospital room and Sabina's old one.

Sabina and Elena followed her instructions as Bosley conducted the two with up-and-down hand motions. 

"Okay, I'm ready", said Sabina, confidently.

Elena cleared her throat. She spoke softer than the other two. "Me too"

"Alright then" Bosley gestured towards the door. "She's all yours"

"Are you coming in with us", asked Elena.

Bosley shook her head. "I've had my time with her. Gotta save time for you two"

Sabina and Elena both wrapped an arm around her. "See ya later, Bos", said Sabina.

"Thanks for everything", said Elena.

Bosley returned the hug. "Good luck, Angels" They released each other before Bosley walked towards the exit.

Sabina opened the door to the hospital room and the two walked in. There, they saw Jane sitting upright in bed. She was all tucked in and wearing a hospital gown. When they first saw her, she looked almost lifeless. They couldn't tell if she was bored or dead tired. As they entered, Jane looked over to see who was entering and a smile appeared on her face. A slight smile, but a smile nonetheless. 

She spoke in a soft tone. "Hello, loves"

"Hi, Princess", said Elena, before giving Jane a hug and kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi, Honeybun" Sabina leaned down and kissed her girlfriend on the forehead. She sighed as soon as she got close to her. "How do you smell so good even in the hospital?"

"That's an MI-6 secret", a disoriented Jane chuckled.

Elena started stroking Jane's cheek with the back of her hand. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

"I feel amazing" She started to sound a bit loopy.

Elena and Sabina looked at each other, knowingly. "Hey, babe", said Sabina. "Are you still on morphine right now?"

Jane giggled some more. "Yes, I..." She twirled her finger until she poked Sabina on the nose. "...am" 

"I'm scared", Elena whispered to Sabina. "But not in the way I thought I would be"

"Remind me never to give her any of my stash", Sabina whispered back.

"I can hear everything that you two are saying", Jane droned. "And I don't want any of your gross mara... mary... marajewana"

"Marijuana", Sabina corrected. "And don't worry, Jane, it's just for when I'm stressed." Jane sat there blankly. "Jane?"

She looked back up at them. "Hm?"

"Babe, are you okay?

"Morphine high, Sabina", Elena reminded her.

"Yeah, but I thought that all that happened was you get all loopy and honest"

"No, there's more. Your speech starts to slur and you start to have trouble paying attention" Sabina raised an eyebrow. "I was in the hospital a lot as a kid. I was a child inventor so things blew up a lot"

"I guess that makes sense"

"I'm so alone", Jane muttered to herself, as she lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling.

Elena and Sabina looked at her with sadness in their eyes. "We should probably stop having side conversations", said Sabina.

"Agreed" Elena pulled up two chairs beside the bed, sat down, and held onto Jane's hand. "How are you feeling, Jane?"

Jane started giggling again "Oh, Laney. I feel sooooo good", she continued to slur. "I mean, I wasn't good before when I was shot and I thought Sabina was in trouble and shit but now I feel... amazing"

Elena winced. "Yeah, sorry about that"

"Why... why are you apologizing", asked Jane, barely pointing at Elena. She turned to Sabina. "Why she apologizing?"

Sabina sighed. She plopped down on the other chair, held Jane's free hand, and threw an arm around Elena. "For some reason, Elena's blaming herself for last night"

"Why're you doing that", asked Jane.

"Well, its just" Elena stopped herself. "Did you just say 'why're'?"

"Hey!" Jane tried to sound stern but her slurred speech prevented that. "That's a real contract-shun. Just cuz you're the nerd doesn't mean you're the smartest"

Somewhat offended, Elena scoffed. Sabina was trying and failing not to laugh. "This might be the best moment of my life"

Jame didn't seem to be paying attention the what they were saying, not that she didn't want to. So she simply asked her question again. "Elena, why're you blaming yourself?"

Elena sighed and rested her head on her hand. "I don't know. I guess maybe I could have done something? Or maybe I shouldn't have been there in the first place?"

"I feel like we just had this conversation", Sabina groaned.

Jane gripped Elena's hand tightly. "Aw, baby. That's silly."

"I told her the same thing", Sabina chimed in.

Jane let go of Elena's hand and tried pointing at her but ended up pressing on her forehead by accident. "You know what you need?"

Elena removed Jane's hand from her temple and held it. "What do I need?", she chuckled at her disoriented girlfriend.

"Chocolate", Jane continued to slur. "You. Need. Chocolate. There's a, uh... a vender machine somewhere round here and-"

"No", Sabina interjected. "I don't think you should be alone right now", she said to Elena. "I'll go get 'em" She kissed both of them on the cheek and left the room.

"Lie down, Elena", Jane offered.

"It's a hospital bed", Elena chuckled. "There's only enough room for one person"

"Oh." Jane's face fell. "Well, can you at least sit on the bed?" Elena did as she said, holding Jane's hand the entire time. "You're amazing"

"Thanks, babe", Elena blushed.

"So why're you blaming yourself?"

Elena sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I don't know. I guess. I feel like I could've paid more attention or chosen a better room to hide in or just. I feel like I could've done something different. You getting shot just to save me, I feel... responsible for some reason. "

Janed nodded attentively. "Okay, but you about instead you feel grateful?"

Elena raised an eyebrow. "Grateful?"

"Grateful that you're still riiiiiiiight here", she said, loopily. "And you show how grateful you are that I save your life by making out with me"

"I guess I never looked at it that way. Maybe you're right"

Jane grinned. "And that's why I'm the smartest" The two shared a laugh, although Jane's went on longer.

Meanwhile, Sabina had trouble with the vending machine. First, the candy she ordered got stuck. So she tried to get more candy to free it but then they all got stuck. Then she tried hitting the glass but she accidentally broke it. So then she had to call whoever was in charge to help her fix it while she stood there the whole time making sure no one stole from the vending machine (Well, no one besides her). By the time, she got back, Elena and Jane had fallen asleep, Elena on her chair and her head resting in Jane's lap. However, Sabina had taken so long that visiting hours were almost up.

She tapped Elena on the shoulder? "Elena?" Nothing. She tapped a bit more aggressively. "Laney?" Still nothing. She tried to nudge her. "Sunshine?" Again, nothing. She had no other option but to lightly jab Elena in her underarms.

Elena shot up like a rocket. "Baby, you know that's where I'm ticklish."

"Visiting hours are almost over. We have to go now"

"Now?" She looked solemnly at Jane, which Sabina noticed.

"I don't want to leave her either, babe. But we'll be able to visit her tomorrow. Then after that she'll come home. Then everything will go back to normal and then-"

"The lake house"

"Yeah, exactly. So do you think you can bear it for a few more days?"

Elena nodded and then let go of Jane's hand. She leaned over and kissed Jane's temple. Sabina did the same.

The two of them returned to their apartment. It could have done with a bit more cleaning but they had been absent from it for a bit. The two climbed into bed and Sabina slept with her arms around Elena. When Sabina was half asleep, she finally managed to speak.

"Hey, baby?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for saving me and Jane the other night"

Sabina chuckled. "You don't need to thank me, Sunshine."

"Can I say that I love you?"

"Please do"

"I love you, Kitten"

"I love you too, Sunshine"

Sabina and Elena knew that their sleep that night wouldn't be the same without Jane. It felt like something was missing. But Sabina managed to sleep peacefully that night. Elena, on the other hand, was so distraught by this that she didn't sleep at all.


	5. The Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sabina's life becomes a living hell.

The next morning, Elena, feeling almost entirely spaced out, felt Sabina's lips press against her cheek.

"Good morning, Sunshine"

"Mornin'", Elena, quietly moaned.

"You wanna lie in bed a bit more?"

"Mm-hmm" 

"Okay", Sabina sighed. She hated seeing Elena feel so down. She knew what would do the trick, though. "How do you want your eggs? Scrambled or fertilized", she joked.

"I'm not hungry"

"Oh" Sabina felt defeated. Elena always loved her gross pick-up lines. "Are you sure you don't want anything?" Elena made a quiet noise of agreement. "Okay. Well, that's fine." She got up to leave and was almost out the door before she looked back at Elena. "I love you."

"I love you too", Elena mumbled.

Sabina put on a half-hearted smile before she left the room.

Sabina had her breakfast all made and ready but she chose not to eat at first. She sat there picking at her food with her fork, waiting for Elena to come out of the room. She would come out eventually. Soon. Any minute now. She just had to wait it out.

At some point, her food started getting cold and Sabina had to eat it all by herself. She felt a little upset but she was sure that Elena had simply fallen back asleep. Nothing more. She went back into the bedroom to check in on her. But when she got there, she was surprised to find that Elena was still wide awake in bed.

She knelt down in front of her in order to be at eye level. "Baby, are you okay?" Elena seemed dissociated. "Elena? Sunshine?" The desperation started to seep into her voice. "Talk to me please"

"Hmmm", Elena moaned, finally noticing Sabina before her. "Oh, shit. Hey, babe", she muttered. She squinted her eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's been thirty minutes since I woke you up"

Elena didn't think she should tell Sabina that, in reality, she didn't wake her up, as she didn't sleep at all. So she just went along with what Sabina had said. "I'm sorry. I can get up if you want"

That was indeed what Sabina wanted. But she could tell that Elena wasn't really feeling it right now. "No, it's... It's fine. I was just worried. You can rest some more if you want"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Don't worry."

"Okay. Thanks, babe." She turned over to lie on her back as Sabina walked into the bathroom.

Sabina came out of the bathroom about thirty-eight minutes later, with damp hair and a towel wrapped around her. Elena looked like she hadn't moved at all. "Elena", she called out.

"Yeah", she replied, still staring at the ceiling.

She removed her towel and threw her clothes on. "You, uh... You doing okay?"

Once again, Elena chose dishonesty. "Yeah". she said, in a raspy tired voice. "It's just... I'm just... I'm really tired is all"

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

She heard the concern in Sabina's voice and knew she wasn't just being curious. "Of course I did. Why?"

"Because Boz told me that you didn't get any sleep the night of the mission. And also because you passed out at the ward yesterday" As Elena contemplated what to say, Sabina walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down beside her. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"My sleep schedule is just off", Elena lied. "I'm trying to get it back on track is all"

"So you're just trying to sleep right now?"

"Mm-hmmm"

"Okay" Sabina tried her best to not sound hurt. "So I'll just let you be"

Elena felt horrible. She wanted to reach out and grab Sabina's hand before she left the room. But instead, she simply laid there, motionless. Elena felt lifeless. She didn't move at all and couldn't muster the energy or the want to.

The longer the day went on, the more clear it became to Sabina that Elena wasn't just tired. Granted, she had always been suspicious that Elena wasn't exactly telling the truth. But she knew she had to give Elena some space. After all, she almost got shot and Jane was in the medical ward. But the longer she stayed in bed, the more nervous Sabina became. She wanted to pull her out of bed and assure her that she wasn't alone. But there was a part of her that still thought she should give her girlfriend some space. And that was the part she went with.

However, she repeatedly felt the urge to break that space. As she sat on the couch, watching _Good Omens_ for what felt like the hundredth time, she felt so alone. The couch felt strangely empty while her girlfriends were laying in a bed. She felt somewhat annoyed with Elena. But then she immediately started kicking herself for feeling that and for feeling so selfish. Elena was going through some sort of healing process. She didn't want to just throw her out of bed and force her do something she didn't feel up to. By that logic, she should storm over to the medical world and pull Jane out of her bed. So she decided to continue giving Elena space.

That was, until, around 2:00. Sabina had already eaten lunch. Jane's visiting hours had just started. And she still hadn't seen any sign of Elena. She walked back into the bedroom and saw that Elena was, of course, still lying motionless in bed. At this point, Sabina wasn't really annoyed with her girlfriend. She was more concerned that Elena had just passed out from starvation or worse.

She quickly walked over to the bed to make sure Elena was okay. Sure enough, Elena was still breathing, still conscious, and eyes still open. Sabina nudged her and called her name several times but Elena wouldn't respond. Elena was too dissociated to notice what was happening around her. Desperate, Sabina grabbed Elena by the arms and began to shake her. By the time Sabina realized that this was indeed a terrible idea, it had already worked. 

Sabina stopped once she realized that Elena was actually paying attention... and, also, starting to breathe very fast and heavily, as if she were having another-

"Elena, what do you see in the room?", Sabina asked her, trying not to panic.

Elena looked around the room. "I... I see you and... and the door... I see... I see the dresser. I see the pile of clothes that you still won't clean up" Elena's breathing had slowed down to normal. She managed to sit up just enough to punch Sabina in the arm before lying back down.

"What was that for", asked Sabina, rubbing her arm.

"Why the hell did you do that", rasped Elena.

"I panicked, okay! You were just lying there motionless and you couldn't hear me at all!"

Elena's eyes widened. "Sabina, what time is it?"

"It's, like, two in the afternoon, babe. You haven't eaten anything and I was about to get you ready so we could visit Jane"

Elena silently groaned and shook her head. "I can't, 'Bina"

Sabina was in shock. "Why... why not?"

"I don't know. But I just can't"

Jane wasn't under morphine this time so she was back to her old self. It broke Sabina's heart when she had to tell Jane that Elena wouldn't be visiting. Of course, it would be dangerous to leave Elena there all alone. Thankfully, Saint had agreed to stay at the apartment for a couple of hours and see what he can do about her.

"I never thought I'd see the laid-back Sabina Wilson on the verge of a panic", said Jane.

Sabina scoffed. "It's kinda weird that you're the one cracking jokes and I'm the one who's being super serious now"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Don't say 'super serious'. It sounds weird."

Sabina ignored her. "I don't know what I'm gonna do. If Saint can't get her to eat and get out of bed, then-"

"Then, you will"

Sabina threw her arms up in exasperation. "How?"

"Saint's a miracle worker and all but-"

"Yeah, I know", Sabina interrupted. "That's why we call him 'Saint' and not 'Pieshawn'"

"That's not the poi- Wait, his real name is 'Pieshawn'?"

Sabina realized what she had just said. "You were saying?"

Jane chuckled. "I was saying that Saint is a miracle worker but you and I are her girlfriends. If anyone can help her, it's you. And I'll help too when I get out of here."

Sabina took a break from her pacing and sat down beside Jane. "I guess so", she said, resting her head on her girlfriend's arm. "I miss you so much, Honeybun. It's so weird without you. You're the levelheaded one"

Jane stifled a laugh. "That's one way of putting it"

"I can't wait to get you out of here tomorrow. Maybe I won't have to watch _Good Omens_ alone" She felt Jane grip her hand tighter.

"Yeah, about that..." Sabina looked up with concern. Jane took a deep breath. "The tests are taking a bit longer. I'm not going to be out of here by tomorrow"

"What?"

Jane started stroking Sabina's hair. "Don't worry. They pushed it back by just one day. Two days from now, you can come get me." Sabina reluctantly nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am", Sabina lied. She stood up from her chair. "I just need to go to the bathroom is all"

"Of course"

"Great"

Sabina did indeed go to the ward's bathroom. She looked in all the stalls to try and see if anyone was there. By the time she knew that no one was in there with her, Sabina, still feeling alone and overwhelmed, burst into tears.

"There's not much I can do", said Saint, shortly after she walked in the door to her apartment. "You may have to convince her your own way but you must do it quick. I don't know how much more of this she'll be able to take.

"Okay", Sabina responded. "Thanks, Saint. You did your best." The two shook hands as one left the apartment and the other went into her bedroom. It almost looked like Elena was in the exact same position as before.

"You didn't eat", Sabina asked.

No response. Sabina didn't aggressively shake her this time, however. "Did you get out of bed at all"

More silence. She, of course, knew the answers to all the questions. Saint had told her. But still, she wanted to hear it from Elena, herself. 

Sabina's eyes began to well up and her voice started to sound more and more desperate. "Talk to me! Please!" She rubbed her head in exasperation. "I can't have anything bad happen to you too"

Elena was clearly listening to everything her girlfriend said but it didn't seem to phase her much. Sabina grabbed her pillow. "Okay, then. You clearly need some space. And I will sleep on the couch until you're okay" None of this was said out of spite. Sabina just really thought Elena could use a lot of space.

Suddenly, Elena grabbed her by the forearm. "Please stay", she muttered.

Sabina couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Did you say something, babe?"

Elena was now beginning to cry uncontrollably. "Please don't go, Sabina. I can't be alone right now. I need you here. Please!"

Sabina kissed her girlfriend on the cheek before immediately hopping onto the other side of the bed and wrapping her arms around Elena. "It's okay, Sunshine. I'm not going anywhere."

Elena sniffled as she continued to cry. "Thank you." She took a deep breath.

Sabina didn't think she could handle Jane staying for one more day. She had barely survived a day without Jane. She wasn't sure if she could handle two in a row.


	6. The Collapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabina tries her best to help Elena get back on her feet.

Sabina woke up the next morning, still spooning Elena and holding her in her arms. She let go of her and sat up, hoping that Elena would do the same. Sabina leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Morning, beautiful". Elena let out a silent moan, indicating that she was, indeed, aware of what was going on. Sabina stroked her girlfriend's hair. "Don't stay awake for too long", she whispered. "Don't go to bed."

"I love that song", Elena muttered. "But I don't want any coffee"

"Too bad. You need some." She stood up to leave. "I'll be right back with it, okay?"

"Please", said Elena.

"I'm just getting us coffee", said Sabina. "I'll be back before you know it" And with that, she left the room.

Elena had truly stepped in it. She didn't want to leave her bed at all. Despite the fact that she wasn't starving and only drinking water, she felt no desire to eat. She knew that the longer things went on, the more Sabina would catch on and try to get her out of bed. But it could've lasted a bit longer had she not cried last night. Now, Sabina wasn't going to let anything bad happen to her. And she wouldn't be able to stop her. Because Elena didn't feel like fighting back. She didn't have any motivation for anything. If anything, she felt empty. She felt like nothing she could do could make her feel better so she didn't feel the use in trying.

As all this ran through her head, Sabina came back with two mugs of coffee in hand. She placed them on the nightstand and pulled a chair up to the side of the bed. Elena had turned flat on her back to where she was now looking up at Sabina.

"I need you to sit up", she said, softly.

Elena struggled to respond but ended up saying a simple: "I can't."

She leaned down to make eye contact with Elena and there was no little space between the two. "I'm not gonna let this get to you", she said, despite the fact that this already seemed to be the case. "I'm gonna help you get back on your feet".

"Can I even do that", Elena sighed.

Sabina gave her a half-hearted smiled. "Of course you can. And I'll be right here to help you the while time, okay?"

It took Elena a minute to actually manage to set up against the bed frame. "I'll try", she said, in her raspy voice. Sabina handed her a mug of coffee before taking hers and sitting down beside Elena. 

"There we go. I will be right here beside you", said Sabina, before taking a sip of coffee. Elena gave a slight nod to signify her gratitude. She took a sip of coffee and raised an eyebrow. "What is it?", asked Sabina.

"You made it how I like it"

"And?"

"With the right amount of sugar"

"Not seeing the problem"

"Like in the song"

Sabina rolled her eyes. "Yes, that's why I did that", she said, sarcastically. "'Cuz I've heard the song and not just because I love my girlfriend and know how she likes her coffee"

Elena giggled for what felt like the first time in a while. "I know. I'm sorry."

Sabina sighed. "Why do keep apologizing?"

"I don't know", Elena sighed. "I think I'm just... I don't know. I didn't want to make you apart of this"

"Hey", Sabina nudged her girlfriend. "The moment Jane and I became your girlfriends meant that whatever you go through, we go through. Hell, that was true even when we were all just teammates."

"I know. But I didn't want you to have to deal with what I'm going through"

Sabina took another sip of coffee and threw an arm around Elena. "Babe, just 'cuz I'm not laying in bed all day doesn't mean I'm not going through shit. The three of us almost died. Jane's in the hospital for another day. And now you won't get out of bed. And I... I can only deal with so much. And I'm trying so hard to-"

Sabina was cut short by a random thud noise. She saw that Elena was no longer on the bed. She looked over to see that Elena had fallen off the bed. "Oh, shit", she said, concerned. "Babe, are you okay?"

Elena groaned on the floor. "I was trying to stand up as like some sort of symbolic thing. Like, to show you have one less thing to worry about. But my legs are asleep so now I'm on the floor" It was worth it, she felt when Sabina started laughing.

Elena tried to pull herself together. For Sabina's sake. But when Sabina got into the shower and Elena went into the kitchen, she still couldn't motivate herself to do anything. She simply sat at the table, resting her head. Still not eating.

"Do you think you can manage today", asked Sabina. "I know Jane really wants to see you but she'll totally understand if you can't visit"

"I want to", Elena said, in a weird mix between demanding and comforting. 

"I'm just making sure. If you need to stay, I can get Saint over here and I can just tell Jane that you couldn't come"

Elena began trembling. "I... I need to see her. I don't want to be with Saint all day. I want to spend time with the two of you." She somehow avoided eye contact the whole time.

"Hey" Sabina gently wrapped Elena in her arms. "It's okay. You can come" Sabina began to rub Elena's back but something felt a bit off. She felt a bit different.

"Is something wrong", asked Elena.

Sabina felt Elena for a bit longer before letting Elena go and choosing to shrug it off. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Let's get going."

The two of them left their apartment to drive to HQ. The drive itself was very quiet. Elena didn't say anything and Sabina didn't know what to say. She knew that Elena wouldn't immediately go back to the way she was before. When they got the medical ward to visit Jane, Sabina stopped at the vending machine.

"Do you want anything? They finally fixed this vending machine", she asked, inserting a couple of dollar bills.

Elena stopped in her tracks. "Did you break the vending machine?"

Sabina hesitated to answer. "...So did want anything?"

Elena affectionately rolled her eyes. "Yeah but I'm ordering it myself. I don't want you breaking the vending machine"

Afterwards, the eventually made their way to Jane's hospital room. Sabina walked but unbeknownst to her, Elena stayed outside.

"Hey, baby", she greeted softly.

"Hey", said Jane, looking around. "Is Elena not coming today?"

Sabina gave her a confused look. "What are you talking about? She's standing right-" She went silent after realizing that Elena was, indeed, not in the room. "One sec" She walked out the room and found Elena standing to the right of the doorway. "You alright, Sunshine?"

Elena was in the middle of taking deep breathes before she heard Sabina. "Yeah, I'm doing fine"

"Are you sure", asked Sabina, uncertain. "When you didn't come in the room, Jane thought you were a no-show"

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm just... preparing myself"

Sabina's protective girlfriend instincts kept rising. "Babe, you weren't like this when we visited the other day. Are you absolutely sure that you're okay?"

Elena started breathing normally again and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek. "I promise you. I'm okay." She extended her hand. "Shall we?"

Sabina was still uncertain if Elena was being genuine. This playfulness was certainly a far cry from from the nervous silence from when they were in the cars just five minutes ago. But, once again, she chose to shrug it off. It was nothing, she thought. She's just starting to get better. The two walked in and Elena nervously shuffled her way into Jane's arms.

"Hi, baby", said Jane. "I've been really worried about you"

"Me too", said Elena. "Wait, has Sabina been talking about me?"

"We're all dating each other", Sabina called out, leaning against the wall. "There are zero secrets between us"

The three of them shared a laugh before Jane let go of Elena. When she did, she started to examine her from head to toe. Something seemed... off about her. "Did you change anything, Elena?"

Elena tried to play it cool. "What do you mean?"

"You look a bit different."

Elena awkwardly rubbed her arm. "What do you mean?" Sabina eyed her, worrying. 

Jane observed her for a bit longer before shrugging her shoulders. "Never mind"

Inside, Elena was taking a huge sigh of relief. Outside, she seemed as calm as ever. "Okay", she said, in an unsure tone. Sabina, on the other hand, was still unsure of what to think. But she also chose to keep it hidden. "So what did Sabina say about me"

"Just, ya know, the usual stuff", said Sabina, casually. "That you wouldn't get out of bed and that I was really worried about you"

Jane tried not to laugh. "She also said that she was so desperate to get you out of bed that she was going to walk into the bedroom naked so you would jump out of bed"

Elena snickered. "That actually would've worked"

On the drive home, Sabina wouldn't stop going on about how impressed she was about Elena.

"I'm gonna be honest. I was so worried that you wouldn't be able to handle any of that but you were amazing in there. I'm so proud of you, Sunshine."

Elena felt internally ashamed for lying to Sabina. She couldn't feel the need to fake it anymore. She remained quiet the whole time and nodded in agreement, though she wore a completely straight face.

"Are you okay?"

"Hmmm?" Elena looked up at Sabina. "Yeah, I'm just pretty tired is all. Plus, I think I need a shower"

"Yeah, you do smell a little weird", Sabina mocked.

"Shut up", said Elena, affectionately.

When the two finally got back to their apartment, Elena tried to rush to the bathroom but Sabina stopped her. She pulled a bag of Skittles out of her pocket. "Oh, shit. I still have your vending machine snack"

Elena still didn't feel motivation to eat. "I'll, uh, eat those later. I just wanna shower"

"Sure thing", said Sabina. 

While Elena was in the shower, Sabina racked her brain to try to figure out what seemed so off about Elena. Obviously, Elena was going through some trauma and depression. But some seemed physically off about her. She noticed her was still holding the Skittles back. "I should've just handed this to her", she thought aloud. Sabina walked to her room and opened the door. She saw Elena standing there in shock, having just left the bathroom and thrown off her towel.

Elena turned a deep shade of red. "Babe, I'm trying to do something here"

Sabina also stood in shock. Not because Elena was naked, she was used to that. But she noticed that Elena was a lot thinner than she remembered. Almost as if-

"Babe, look, I'd love to do whatever it is you want to do right now but I kinda want to dry myself off before-"

"You haven't been eating", Sabina interrupted. "Have you?"

Elena's face turned from red to pale and colorless. "What, uh, makes you think that?"

"Don't lie to me", asked Sabina, her eyes welling. "Look at yourself! You've lost so much weight in the past couple days alone! Have you been eating?"

Elena shook her head. "I haven't been eating"

Sabina slammed the door and stormed back into the kitchen. She sat at the table and dropped her head in her hands. A few seconds later, Elena, hair still damp and wearing Sabina's clothes from off the floor to throw something on quick, went after her.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Most of it is concern", said Sabina's muffled voice. "Elena, you said you were eating and you look like you're about to die of starvation"

"Look, it's hard to explain but-"

Sabina lifted her head up and began to rub it out of exasperation. "I feel like such a fucking idiot. I knew there was something off about me and I didn't do a god damn thing about it. I feel like this is on me."

"This isn't your fault", said Elena, now beginning to tear up herself. "I'm the idiot you didn't eat or sleep in the past couple days"

"You haven't slept in the past couple days?"

Elena realized what she had said. "No, I haven't slept in days"

"Elena, what the hell? That's not good!"

Elena buried her face in her arms. "I don't know! I haven't felt the motivation to do anything lately. Not without the both of you. But I didn't want to pull you into this but then you got all worried. You wanna know why I got out of bed today? Because of you. You wanna know how I was able to leave this apartment and visit Jane today? Because of you."

"Why?"

"What?"

Sabina let out an exasperated sigh. "Why me? Why not do it for yourself?"

"Because I hate myself", Elena blurted.

"What?"

"I hate myself. I'm a fuck-up and I don't deserve my two beautiful and loving girlfriends who both almost died on my watch. You two are the only things that have been keeping be going at this point. I haven't eaten or slept because this is all I've been able to think about and I don't feel the energy or motivation to do anything."

Sabina's hand was over her mouth. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

Elena wiped her eyes. "I don't know. I guess you've had to deal with so much recently that I didn't want to drag you into this"

Sabina let out another groan. "But we're all dating each other!"

"That doesn't mean I can't have secrets"

"But you should trust me!"

Elena was now beginning to sob. "I'm sorry." She rubbed her eyes. "I don't know what I'm going to do"

Sabina pulled the bag of Skittles out of her pocket again. "You're gonna eat"

"I don't want to"

"Too bad, you need to eat something even if it's as tiny as a Skittle" She opened the bag and pulled one out. "Just eat the skittle" Elena shook her head. "Just eat something please", Sabina screamed, almost desperately. "I can't stand to see you like this! You need to eat something! You need to get sleep! You need to listen"

She held the Skittle up to Elena, still rubbing her eyes dry. Elena shook her head again but when Sabina tried to move it close to her, Elena smacked the skittle out of her hand. Elena had just realized what happened. Without saying anything, she stood up and began to run back to their room.

Sabina ran after her. "Elena, please stop doing this!" She kept calling her to stop until at some point, she actually did stop. She was quiet too.

It was at that moment that Elena Houghlin collapsed onto the floor.


	7. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena wakes up in the hospital and is confronted by Jane.

Elena woke up to find herself lying in a bed. Just not her bed. She reached out for one of her girlfriends but instead felt was cold metal bar. When her eyes had finally adjusted, she saw that she was clutching the frame of a hospital bed. She was in the medical ward. She had no idea what had happened. She remembered feeling incredibly dizzy and hungry before everything suddenly went black. Which was probably was she was in the medical ward, she surmised. She let go of the frame and looked around her. She groaned when she noticed she was hooked up to a feeding tube. But when she looked up, she saw, of all people, Jane sitting at her bedside. She hadn't noticed that Elena had woken up yet. She wasn't even looking in her direction. She had all her focus on a book that she held in front of her face.

"Jane?"

Jane turned to look back at Elena and had to do a double take. She slammed the book shut and placed it on the overbed that was on Elena's side, as she hadn't needed it. "Good morning, Sprinkles. How are you feeling?"

Elena struggled to lift her head up. "I... I don't-"

Jane cut her off. "Hey", she said, in a soothing voice. "Rest your head, love". She took a remote sitting on the overbed and pressed the button so the front of the bed began to elevate. "Is that better?"

"Yeah", Elena moaned. "Thanks" Elena had several questions but was caught off guard by something. "You're out."

"Of course I am, honey. I got out yesterday."

Elena couldn't believe her ears. "Yesterday?" Jane nodded. "You mean I've been out for over a day?"

Jane sighed. "Yes, you have." She gripped her girlfriend's hand. "Do you remember anything?"

Elena was still reeling from the news to listen to what Jane was saying. "What?"

"Do you remember anything?"

Elena nodded. "I remember walking away from Sabina. I... I hurt her. I felt terrible. Then, I just started to feel... dizzy... and empty... and then everything went black."

Jane used her other hand to stroke Elena's head. "You fainted", she explained. "The doctor said it was because of starvation. That's why you have a feeding tube." Before, Jane was smiling to try to comfort Elena. But now, she was beginning to look distraught. "Why couldn't you just eat? You were hungry. Sabina kept offering you food. Why did you starve yourself?"

Elena hesitated to answer. But she chose to be honest this time. "I felt... broken. Empty. Like I was a shell. And I would rather just lie in my bed and do nothing and not be responsible for anyone ending up in the hospital than to get out of bed or eat or do anything at all. I got out of bed the other day for Sabina. I didn't want to worry her but there was only so much that I could do. I didn't feel like doing anything. I just wanted to shut down. Not deal with anything. I just... It's kinda hard to explain, I guess"

Jane sat there, silent. She hadn't yet figured out how to phrase her response. What Elena said was a lot to take in. She had to choose her words delicately. She took a deep breath. "Look, Elena-"

But before Jane could try to reassure her, Elena interrupted her, as she noticed something was wrong. "Where's Sabina?"

Jane hesitated to answer. "Sabina is... talking with Bosley about everything that happened. You know, filling her in and such."

There were a number of holes in Jane's story, but Elena chose to focus on the obvious. "She's filling her in over a day later?"

"Mm-hmmm" Jane didn't even seem comfortable enough to verbally say her answer.

Elena shook her head. "That's not true"

"Of course it is", said Jane, nervously looking around the room and avoiding eye contact. "Why wouldn't it be true?"

"Why wouldn't you tell Boz about me right away?"

Jane continued to avoid eye contact. "Bosleys are busy, Elena. You know that. Evil never rests."

"Yeah, but our Bosley always has time for us, no matter how busy she is. When the agency went underground, Sabina drunk dialed her just for relationship advice after we all got in a argument and she still picked up the phone and helped her."

Jane was both impressed with Elena and ashamed of herself for failing to think her answer through. "You're the best spy out of all of us but you're terrible at lying to your girlfriends. So I just wanna ask you one more time" Elena tried to sound forceful but she was too upset for it to come across. Desperation came from her voice instead. "Where's Sabina?"

Jane took another deep sigh, afraid of how Elena would react. "Sabina didn't want to come."

The words kept ringing in Elena's head over and over again. The idea that Sabina didn't even want to come and visit her in the hospital. "She didn't want to", she asked her eyes welling up with tears. "Oh, fuck. She must be so mad at me right now."

Jane gripped Elena's hand tighter. "No, Elena, that's not-"

The pain in Elena's eyes shown through. "Yes, it is! She hates me!"

Jane leaned over to Elena and squeezed her tightly. "She doesn't hate you. Not at all. She loves you so much. She just didn't come because..." Jane stopped.

"Because what?"

"Elena, Sabina's not mad at you. She's mad at herself."

Elena couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What? Why would she be mad at herself? She didn't do anything"

Jane released Elena from her grasp and Elena saw the sorrow on her face. "That's exactly what she thinks. She thinks that it's her fault that you're here. She thinks she didn't do enough or she wasn't paying enough attention or just... I don't know. What I do know is that she doesn't think she can be in the same room as you. She feels too guilty. She was here earlier and she nearly threw up. She's waiting in the car right now."

Elena's eyes wouldn't stop welling. "But it's not. It's not her fault. She shouldn't feel guilty."

"And neither should you", said Jane, somewhat comforting and somewhat stern.

"But Sabina didn't do anything wrong. And I-"

"You also did nothing wrong" Jane shot her a look and Elena knew that the time for arguing and putting herself down was over. It was Jane's turn to talk. "You're both beating yourself about things that were far beyond your control. Yes, you were on lookout that night but did you see that guard on any of those cameras?"

"No", Elena muttered.

"Exactly. So is me getting shot and Sabina getting a concussion to save you in any way your fault?"

"No"

"Then why do you keep berating yourself?"

"I... I..." It was then that Elena finally began to cry. "I don't know"

Jane started stroking her head again. "There you go. Just have a good cry. I'm right here for you" Elena sobbed for what felt like forever and Jane eventually joined in. A few minutes later, when Jane had ceased crying and Elena's crying had slowed to just a few tears, Jane finally managed to continue.

"The two of you didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault that that you almost got shot. It's not your fault that Sabina and I ended up in the hospital. And it's not your fault that Sabina's upset. You are an amazing agent and you shouldn't put yourself down for anything."

Elena gave a weak, barely visible smile. "Thank you"

"But you shouldn't feel like you have to hide anything from us. If you want to lie and bed and be alone for it bit, that's fine. But you need to realize that you don't have to go through this alone. I'm always here for you and so is Sabina. You never have to starve yourself or feel like you're going to make us nervous. Your business is our business, no matter what. Okay?"

"Okay", Elena nodded. "I'm really sorry, Jane"

"And don't apologize so much either. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I know. I'm sorry." Elena groaned. "God damn it. I'm sorry. Shit! Sorry. Oh my god!"

Jane failed to stifle a laugh. "I get what you're trying to say."

Elena started to laugh but went silent when she had a realization. "So if Sabina doesn't want to be in the same room as me, what are we gonna do about the Lake House?"

Jane didn't hesitate. She had clearly already thought this through. "If you and Sabina both want to go, then we'll do it. I feel like we all need the fresh air. But if you're not comfortable, we still have the month off. That's plenty of time off. And we all need that right now."

"I want to go. But only if Sabina goes."

Jane smiled. "I'll tell her that when I see her"

"You should see her right now"

Jane shook her head. "You need me"

"She needs you too. She shouldn't be crying all alone in the car. Plus, I'm pretty sure the doctors don't know I'm awake yet."

Jane shrugged. "I guess that is true. We'll come pick you up tomorrow, okay."

"Okay"

Jane released Elena's hand and leaned closer to Elena. "I love you" Soon enough, their lips met.

"I love you too", said Elena, once they separated. "Tell Sabina I love her too"

Jane got up walked began to walk out the room but Elena called her right before she walked to the other side of the door. "Hey, Jane?"

"Yeah"

"Tell her I'm sorry"


	8. The Girlfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sabina starts to get ahold of herself.

Jane walked back to the car and opened the door to find a red-eyed Sabina sitting in the passenger seat. Sabina held a joint in her hand, but she clearly hadn't lit it yet, meaning there was only one explanation for the red eyes. When Jane sat down in the driver's seat, she noticed a fear tear tracks down Sabina's face.

"Sabina? Are you okay?"

Sabina shook her head. "Not really", she sighed.

"I'm sorry" Jane leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "If you want, you can light that."

"For real?"

Jane nodded. "Whatever you want, babe."

"In your car?"

"That is certainly where we are right now."

Sabina held her hand out. "You want a hit?"

Jane slowly pushed it away. "No, thank you."

Sabina tucked the joint back in her pocket. "Then, what's the point?"

Jane chuckled. "Listen, there's something I wanted to ask you?"

"Shoot."

"Well, we were supposed to go to to the Lake House in two days and then stay there throughout June. But if the two of you aren't up to it, then-"

"No!", Sabina interrupted. "I still want to go"

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"I think it's something we all need. And I'll try my best to stay calm, I promise."

Jane wasn't entirely convinced. "Sabina, if you're not entirely comfortable going, we don't have to go."

"No, I want to go. We could all use some fresh air and relaxation right now" Sabina let out a silent laugh. "God, I sound like a mom right now."

Jane smiled. "I think we've all sounded like a mom this week. Bos, especially."

Sabina laughed a bit louder. "But just trust me. I'll be fine. But I'll only do it if Elena wants to."

"Well, actually", said Jane. "Elena actually woke up while you were waiting in here."

Sabina's head perked up like an excited dog. "Really? Is she okay? Did she say anything? Is she mad at me? Is she-"

Jane grabbed Sabina by the shoulders. "Calm down, babe. She's okay. We're picking her up tomorrow."

Sabina took a deep breath. "Sorry. Did she say anything?"

"She said she wants to visit the lake house too. So we should probably start packing."

Sabina awkwardly nodded. "Yeah. Okay." Her hand was close to her pocket, just in case she really did need a smoke. "What, uh, what else did she say?"

Jane looked Sabina straight in the eye. Sabina felt nothing but comfort looking into Jane's eyes. "She said that she's sorry."

Sabina groaned. "It's not her fa-"

"Fault", Jane finished. "Yes, I know. I said the same thing. But she also said what I've been saying for the past couple days and that is that it isn't your fault."

Sabina began stammering. "Yeah, but-"

Jane put a finger up to Sabina's mouth to signify she was shushing her. "Sabina, you didn't do anything wrong. This is no one's fault, okay? Elena isn't mad at you and she could never be"

"Okay", Sabina agreed, taking Jane's hand away from her face. "It's... It isn't anyone's fault."

Jane gripped Sabina's hand. "She said one last thing."

"What's that?"

"She said that she loves you"

A few more tear tracks ran down Sabina's face. "She loves me."

"Of course she does, 'Bina. Why wouldn't-"

But before Jane could finish, Sabina abruptly threw open the door, ran out of the car, and charged towards the building. "ELENA!", she called out.

"Sabina", Jane called out, running after her. "What the hell are you doing?!? Don't pull a 'Lady Bird'!"

Elena pressed the call button on her remote, still waiting on a doctor to come. She felt a bit bored until she heard a pair of rapidly approaching footsteps. Almost too rapidly approaching to belong for a doctor or nurse or any sort of medical professional.

A familiar voiced called out "Elena!"

Her spirits slowly lifted when she recognized the voice. "Sabina?"

Sabina ran into the room, stopping in the doorway to catch her breath. "Hey, babe!"

Elena excitedly lifted her head. "Sabina! You're here!"

Sabina wanted to run to Elena or say something, anything at all, to her. But she was too short of breath to do any sort of action.

"Sabina", asked a concerned Elena. "Are you okay?"

Sabina leaned against the doorway. "I haven't gone running in a few days. I'm very tired."

Elena had a million things she wanted to say to her but decided to go with what she felt was the most important. "Sabina, look. I'm-"

Before she could finish, Sabina unexpectedly charged at her and ambushed her with a kiss. The two of them didn't want to let go. Sabina's worries all seemed to melt away and Elena felt the best she had in days. Eventually, they did have to pull away, as Sabina was still short on breath.

"Elena", Sabina wheezed, holding Elena's face. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here before. I just thought that this was somehow my fault."

"It isn't", Elena reassured her. "I shouldn't have done any of this. I'm really sorry."

"If I hear more apology and reassurance out of either of you", came a third voice. "I'm going to scream"

Elena and Sabina looked over at the doorway to seen a slightly amused Jane standing there. "Sabina ran out of the car", she explained.

"You pulled a 'Lady Bird'", asked Elena, both amused and concerned.

"No", said Sabina, defensively. "It's not a 'Lady Bird' situation if the car isn't running and we were parked.

The three of them shared a laugh before Elena went silent as she admirably looked at her girlfriends.

"Everything alright, love", asked Jane, noticing her.

Without warning, Elena had begun crying again. Jane and Sabina threw her arms around her. "Hey", said Sabina, in a comforting tone. "What's wrong?"

"I love you both so much. I want to get better. I really do. It's just... It's really hard."

"It's okay", Jane reassured her. "We're right here for you."

"We love you too", Sabina chimed in. "I'm not gonna leave you. Not again."

The three of them held each other for a few minutes longer until the doctor finally arrived. It was hard to Elena to let them leave but they reassured her that they'll have all the time to spend together when they finally go visit the lake house in Michigan... right after Sabina reassured her that she wouldn't jump out of the car again.

Sabina and Jane spent the rest of the day packing for their month long vacation. They knew that when they eventually picked up Elena, she may not feel the urge to pack for herself. They wanted to make things easy for her so, while waiting for a pizza to arrive, they decided to pack her clothes and other items for her.

"This is my shirt!", Sabina said, in the middle of packing. "I've been looking all over for this one."

"She better not have any of mine", said Jane.

"If she does, then she probably uses them as night shirts"

"What does that mean?", asked Jane, somewhat offended.

Sabina rolled her eyes. "It means you're really tall, babe. Calm down."

Jane scoffed. "You're just as annoying as our first mission together"

Sabina smiled slyly. "And what happened afterwards?"

"I pushed you off a roof."

"After that?"

"I cursed you out and told you that you were one of the most obnoxious angels I've worked with"

"Yeah, but then we finally gave into the tension and ended up sleeping together. And look where we are now!"

Jane chuckled at her girlfriend. "I'm really glad you're back to being, well, 'Sabina'. It was pretty hard watching you get so worked up about Elena."

"Ya know, if it weren't for Bos, you'd officially be the team mom", Sabina joked.

"We're both going to have to be the team mom for a bit. Elena really needs us right now."

"I know. But maybe let's not use 'team mom' when talking about comforting our girlfriend."

"The point is we need to make her feel as safe and comfortable as possible. At least until begins to return to some sort of normalcy."

"Okay. But I still think walking in naked on her could help give her some sort of boost."

Jane sighed affectionately. "Never change, Flopsy"

"Yeah, about that..."

"Are you going to suggest I come up with a new nickname again?"

"No, I just wanted to say... I love it."

Jane's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah, you came up with it so it's already perfect."

"Oh, thank god!", Jane groaned. "I came up some already and I was so nervous about them"

"Aw, you actually listened to my request!"

They were suddenly interrupted by a buzzing sound. "Pizza guy", said Jane. "I'll go downstairs and get it from him." She got up to leave the room, but turned back to Sabina before she disappeared from view. "I love you, Flopsy."

Sabina grinned. "I love you too, Honeybun."


	9. The Relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabina and Jane try to make things better.

Sabina woke up the next morning engulfed in Jane's arms. Part of her wanted to simply stay like this for as long as possible. Another part of her felt upset that Elena wasn't there in between the two of them. She wanted to leap out of bed and get ready, as today was the day that Elena got out of the hospital and tomorrow was when they left for the lake house in Michigan. However, she felt so warm and safe in Jane's grasp that she didn't want to leave. She instead opted to lay there, too relaxed to move a muscle...

That is, until she heard the notification alarm on her phone go off. Jane made a light groaning noise. Sabina didn't know if Jane was already barely awake, like she was, or if the alarm had woken her up but she knew that Jane was awake. She carefully slipped out of Jane's arms, sat at the side of her bed, and took her phone from the nightstand.

"Why don't you silence your phone at night", Jane complained, eyes still closed.

"I have an active social life", Sabina said in a deadpan tone. She turned on her phone and immediately turned down her brightness after the searing pain she felt in her tired eyes. When her eyes finally adjusted, she was able to turn the brightness back up and read the message she had been sent. 

"Fuck", she cursed under her breath.

Despite Sabina's attempts to be silent, Jane still heard her. "What's wrong, babe?"

Sabina rubbed her eyes. "It's from Bos. Apparently, Elena had a nightmare last night. I guess, in the middle of the night, she woke up screaming and crying."

That was enough for Jane to lift herself up. "Oh, shit. What happened?"

Sabina sighed, ready to give Jane the heavy news. "I guess she dreamed about us or the night where everything went wrong or something. She woke up screaming and I guess when she realized we weren't there, she started to cry."

Jane was aghast. "Jesus Christ! Is she okay?"

"They managed to calm her down, yeah. I guess it was one of those super realistic dreams if she thought that we-" Sabina cut herself off. She didn't even need to say it. They both new what Elena's dream was about. "So maybe this is why she didn't want to sleep"

Jane said nothing. She just sat there, looking down. "Hey, Jane?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm just worried about her", she explained, rubbing the back of her neck, with the other hand on the bed.

Sabina placed her hand on Jane's. "Hey. It'll be okay. We'll be there for her, like you said. 

"I know", said Jane, still avoiding eye contact. "I just... I didn't think it would be so hard. I thought that she was getting better."

Sabina thought back to when she thought the same thing. She thought about how proud she was of Elena for actually managing to get out of bed and not go into a panic. And she thought about how by the end of the day, Elena ended up in the hospital.

"It's easy to think that at first. But whenever it seems like she's getting better, we can't let our guard down. At least, not until we know for sure that she's okay."

Jane solemnly nodded. "Okay."

"Jane." Sabina lifted Jane's chin up. "You're not gonna do this alone. Don't forget that I'll be here every step of the way. We're gonna help her. Together."

Jane tried to look away. "I'm not upset that this is going to be hard. I'm upset that she's not getting better."

Sabina locked eyes with her. "But she will get better, Jane. She will. Because me and you will held her."

Jane scoffed. "It's 'you and I', Sabina."

Sabina chuckled. "There she is. There's my Jane."

Jane giggled and the two of them embraced each other. "Thank you, Sabina."

"Do you wanna hear one of my gross pick-up lines?"

Jane let out a defeated sigh as the two let go of each other. "Go ahead."

Sabina slyly raised her eyebrows. "Are you a flower?"

"No."

"'Cuz I love watching our love grow."

Jane was a bit bewildered. "That's actually really ni-"

"And I can't wait for your legs to blossom open."

Jane's jaw hit the floor. "Sabina!"

They met Bosley outside Elena's hospital room. "How are my girls?"

"Could be better", Sabina shrugged. 

"A lot better", Jane added.

"I know the feeling", Bosley sighed.

"It isn't you fault, Bosley", said Jane. "We should've been there to calm her down, not you."

"I mean, it was long past visiting hours and I'm her superior", said Bosley. "So, in a way, it's my responsibility." She gestured at the two of them. "You're all my responsibility."

Sabina and Jane had completely forgotten how all of this was affected Bosley. They both shared a regretful look at each other. "Bos", Jane started. However, Bosley raised a hand to silence her.

"It's fine. We don't need to have a big emotional moment where we all cry and hug each other. I just want you all to know that I'm always there for you. If anything goes wrong on this trip, I promise that I will drop whatever I'm doing so I can take a jet to Michigan and deal with the problem."

Jane was impressed, while Sabina felt intimidated yet oddly touched. "Uh... Thanks, Bos."

"No problem", she smiled, before returning to her serious facade. "I'm honestly a little hesitant about letting her go on this trip. In fact, my original plan was to not let it happen unless I knew all three of you were okay."

"But a vacation is a good idea, Bos", Sabina debated. "It's just what she needs."

"Why wouldn't you let you let us go", asked Jane.

Bosley gave an indifferent look. "I guess I just didn't really feel comfortable letting you three out of my sight" She saw the looks on their faces and raised her hand yet again. "That doesn't mean that I'm asking for another emotional crying session. I'm just saying that I now know that you're right. A vacation is what you need right now. And like I said, I will go down there if anything goes wrong."

Without warning, Jane leaned down and kissed Bosley on the cheek. "Thank you."

Bosley smiled and turned a light shade of red. "I'll got get her", she said before walking back in the room.

Sabina lightly nudged Jane. "You're getting soft there, Honeybun."

Jane nudged her back. "Shut up", she said, affectionately.

Soon, Bosley and Elena walked out of the room, arm in arm. "Alright, here she is."

Elena slightly better than she did the night Sabina had walked in on her. But she still looked much more distraught and weaker than she usually was. For a second, she put on a weak half smile, only for it to fall almost instantly. She couldn't bring herself to fake it. Instead, she ran straight into the arms of her girlfriends.

They didn't even hesitate to return the hug and they both squeezed her tightly. None of them wanted to let go. Jane and Sabina wanted her to feel as safe as possible. Elena, meanwhile, felt a warm sense of relief.

Sabina, dressed in her pajamas, walked in the bedroom later that night, a bowl of cereal in hand. "Where's Elena", she asked Jane.

"She's in-" Jane examined her girlfriend. "Why are you eating cereal?"

Sabina kept eating and shrugged. "I didn't have any today?"

Jane brushed off her response. "She's in the shower right now"

"How is she?"

"I mean, she's eating and she's out of bed so I guess it's somewhat better."

"What are we gonna do about the trip?"

Jane let out a long exhale. "I don't think the nightmare was a one-time thing. I think it'll be reoccurring. Whenever she wakes up, we have to be there to reassure her."

Sabina looked unsure. "Well, sure. But that's at night. What about now and during the day?"

"I guess...", she hesitated. "We gotta try to keep her positive. We're not going to force her to be happy but we need to keep her spirits up. Spend time with her. Remind her of what she loves."

"So... us?"

"I mean, not just us but, yes, us."

A cunning smile appeared on Sabina's face. "Got it."

Abruptly, she walked away from Jane and towards the bathroom. "Sabina, what are you doing?"

But Sabina didn't answer. Instead, she entered the bathroom. Jane was too nervous to go in so she just learned her ear against the closed door and listened to what was going on.

"Babe", came Sabina's voice. "We need to have a serious conversation."

"No", exclaimed Elena.

"Yeah!"

"No!"

"Yeah, no. We really do."

"No!"

Jane could hear the shower curtains open as Elena started to yell. Not angrily. It was a mix of annoyance and amusement. The usual reaction to Sabina. It was clear that Sabina had just stepped into the tub.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!?"

"Babe..."

"Why are you in clothes?!? Get out of the shower!"

The sound of the curtains closing entered Jane's ear.

"NO! YOU'RE GONNA RUIN YOUR SHIRT AND YOUR PANTS! NO!"

Sabina didn't respond.

"NO!"

No response.

"NOOO!" Elena was squealing now. "NO! THAT'S MY SHIRT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

She could hear Sabina giggle like a small child. "I just wanna eat cereal and have a conversation with you!"

"NOO!"

"Okay."

There was a brief moment of silence, as it sounded like Sabina was about to step out of the tub. However, it was quickly followed by a stomping noise and a loud smooch.

"SABINA!"

And then, Jane heard Sabina hop out of the tub and the door flew open. Sabina shut and leaned against the door, still eating her cereal. She looked over at Jane, who was grinning very hard. She was turning red in what looked like an attempt not to laugh.

"So", Jane snickered. "How is she?"

Sabina giggled some more. "I mean, she's smiling."


	10. The Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabina, Jane, and Elena begin their much-needed vacation.

It took forever for Elena to fall asleep that night. She knew she had to get a lot of sleep because the drive to Sullivan's Landing in Michigan was a long one and they needed to get an early start. However, she felt somewhat cautious of getting sleep. Before, she didn't sleep simply because she was distraught by the whole affair. Now, she was afraid to go to sleep out of fear that her nightmare would happen again.

By the time Sabina had hopped into bed, Jane was already asleep. She wedged her way in between the two of them and looked over at Elena, who was facing away from them. 

"Hey, babe", she whispered. "You asleep?"

"No", Elena whispered.

Sabina slowly began to worry but wasn't just going to become overprotective just because Elena wasn't asleep. "Are you tired at all?"

She turned over so she could face Sabina. "I guess."

"You guess?"

"It's complicated."

"Did you eat today?"

Elena chuckled. "'Bina, you were there when we were all having dinner."

"Did you eat enough? Are you still hungry."

"Sabina, don't worry. I'm feel fine."

"Okay", Sabina sighed. "If you say so"

"It's just... I'm kind of afraid to go to sleep. Bos told you about last night, right?"

"Yeah, she did. Do you need anything? I can make you some tea."

"No, I'm fine."

"Okay, but you need to sleep."

"I know. I probably will even I try not to. It's just... what if it happens again?"

Sabina was afraid to answer. She didn't want to say anything wrong. "Well, if you do, this time, we'll be right here when you wake up"

"I guess that's true"

Sabina gave her a partial smile. "How about if I stay up until you fall asleep? Will that make you feel better?"

"A little bit", said Elena, sheepishly.

"Well, alright then", she said, putting an arm over Elena.

Sabina stayed awake for as along as she could. The moment she was sure that Elena was out, she immediately passed out.

It took forever for Elena to wake up the next morning. After all, they had to get going. But as soon as they were all in the car and driving away, she was fast asleep again. Her head rested on Sabina's lap in the backseat, while Jane drove. Things were silent for about an hour-and-a-half until Jane spoke.

"Are you sure you don't want to switch between driving", asked Jane.

Sabina was playing with Elena's hair. "If you wanna spend more time with Elena, you can just say so."

"It's not that. I was just wondering if you wanted to drive for a bit too."

"I mean, I can take over if you get bored."

"No, it's just... Google Maps says it's a 35-hour drive and I figured that you might get bored back there."

Sabina chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Jane, just say you don't wanna drive the whole way there."

"It's not tha-"

"I was gonna switch with you, anyway."

"Okay, I was ju-"

"NO!" Sabina and Jane's conversation was cut short when Elena jolted awake, screaming. The shock from it caused Jane to nearly swerve into another car. She pulled over at the side of the road while Sabina tried to calm Elena down.

"Hey! Hey! It's okay. We're all right here. Don't worry."

Elena was breathing heavily. "Where... Where's Jane?"

"I'm right here!" Jane climbed over the seat and sat beside the two "I'm right here, love"'

"Remember what we do when we have panic attacks", Sabina said. "What do you see around you?"

"I.. I see a..." Elena looked around her. "Wait, where are we?"

"We're in the car, hon", Jane reminded her, quietly. "Road trip, remember?"

"Why is the top down?"

"We figured you need some fresh air", said Sabina, anxiously. "Is that a problem?"

Elena hesitated to answer before shaking her head. "No... It's... It's a good idea."

"You haven't eaten, have you?"

"No, she didn't", Jane responded. "We got her out of bed to get ready to leave but she didn't eat with us" She looked down at Elena. "So you didn't eat at all, did you?"

Elena shook her head. "Should I?"

Sabina was reminded of a few days before. "Yeah. Yeah, you need to eat."

Jane began to climb over back to the driver's seat. "There's a diner not too far from here. Do you think you can take take another thirty minutes?"

"Mm-hmmm"

"Okay." Jane started the car up again and resumed their drive.

"It's okay, Elena", Sabina said, soothingly. Elena curled up in the seat, the side of her head resting in Sabina's lap. Sabina rubbed her back. "After we're done, Jane's gonna sit back here with you and I'll drive for a bit. But until then, you need to eat."

After the diner, Elena was relatively calm. She returned to her usual banter with the other two. Things seemed relatively normal but Sabina and Jane knew that this was the calm before the storm. Still, they knew to savor these small hours. The two of them switch between driving duty after every rest stop but Elena didn't dare to ask. The fact that she almost had a panic when a tire blew out and she thought it was a gunshot proved that it would probably be a bad idea. Still, other than that, she seemed okay.

After hours of driving, they stopped in Nebraska for the night. They checked into a hotel. Sabina did her obligatory "I can't believe the hotel only gave us one bed" joke routine. And Elena went to take a shower.

"What are we gonna do about all this", Sabina asked in a low voice so Elena wouldn't hear them.

"Well, it seems like the dream is really the only thing we need to worry about besides any loud surprises", Jane responded. "So I think everything will be okay if we just act careful around her."

"So if she wakes up..."

"There's no way her screaming won't wake us up. But just like in the car, we'll be right there next to her. It's just that, next time, I won't accidentally crash into another car"

"Yeah"

"Plus, I realized something. I think if all three of us are all in the same bed, then she won't have the nightmare. That's probably why she didn't have it last night"

"Mm-hmmm"

Jane lifted Sabina's chin. "What's wrong, love?"

"I just hate seeing her like this", Sabina sighed.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it", Jane reassured her. "But until then, I know how to keep your mind off things"

"What did you have in mi-"

Without warning, Jane threw Sabina on the bed and pinned her. "Feel better now?"

Sabina winked. "I think I might need some more uplifting."

Elena woke up screaming that night, disproving Jane's theory. They all slept in the same bed that night, yet Elena jolted awake in the middle of the night, calling out for her girlfriends. They were right there to comfort her and make sure she didn't burst into tears. It took them about fifteen minutes for them to get back to sleep.

The next morning, the three of them had breakfast but Elena was silent and disheveled the whole time. When they packed up their stuff, they noticed Elena was still silent and sitting at a small desk in the corner of the room. Sabina and Jane gave each other a knowing look. "You go talk to her", said Sabina. "I'll finish packing."

Jane approached Elena and slowly put her hand on her shoulder. "Elena? Sprinkles? Is everything alright?"

Elena quickly turned around, wearing a fake smile. "Yeah, of course I am"

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Elena?"

Elena's face fell. She chose not to answer Jane's question and asked something else. "Can I ask a huge favor?"

"Yeah, of course"

Elena handed her a parchment from the hotel notepad. "Can we stop at this address?" Jane looked at the note and saw it was an address in Madison, Wisconsin. "It's on the way", she pleaded. "Please?"

Jane sighed. Obviously, they needed to do what Elena thought would make her feel better but she still needed one other woman's opinion. "One second"

Jane walked back to Sabina, who had just zipped up the last suitcase. Elena couldn't hear what they were saying but it was obvious what they discussing about.

The two walked back over to her. "Okay, Elena. We'll make the stop on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You gotta tell us what this nightmare is", said Sabina. "You can't keep that big of a secret from us"

Elena took a deep breath. "Here it goes... In the nightmare, the mission, THAT mission, replays. And things kind of go the way they did. You guys recover in the hospital. But after you leave, then you request a transfer to a different team." A few tears streamed down her face as she wiped her eyes. "You don't want anything to do with me anymore" Elena started to cry harder. "When I woke up in the medical ward, you guys weren't there. So I thought that... I thought..."

Sabina couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed Elena by the cheeks and looked her straight in the eyes. "Listen to me, okay? We would never even consider leaving you."

Jane turned Elena's head so she was now looking at her. "You have no idea what we'd do without you. You're really what holds us together. If we hadn't met you, Sabina and I would still be two rival Angels who once had a one-night stand."

"Wait, what?" Elena chuckled as she rubbed her eyes. "I haven't heard that one"

"That's... for another time", said Sabina.

"I know what we said isn't going to make the dream go away anytime soon", said Jane. "But whenever you feel like that, just remind yourself about what we said"

Elena stood up and squeezed Jane tight, resting her head on Jane's chest. "Okay."

"Okay, but seriously", Sabina chimed in. "Quit hogging Jane's chest"

"And you just made it weird", Jane said, deadpan.

Elena decided to join in the fun. "It's all mine, for your information"

"You too?"

"C'mon, Honeybun. Don't be such a buzzkill"

"Sabina's right. You could stand to lighten up a bit"

"How am I the bad guy here?"


	11. The Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena turns to the other two people that know her best.

After a few more hours of driving, Jane pulled over at the address in Madison, Wisconsin that Elena had given her. It was a very nice one-story house in a decent-looking neighborhood.

"Why did you want to come here again", asked Sabina.

"It's... a surprise, I guess", Elena responded, sheepishly. "I just... I felt like I needed to be here right now"

"We understand", said Jane. "But where exactly is 'here'?" 

"Look, this is just something I need to do alone. I'll be in there for like an hour, tops. Just drive around in the meantime, okay?"

"First off, we're in Wisconsin. What are we gonna do", asked Sabina.

"Eat cheese", Jane joked. "We should've brought Bosley"

"Second off, I thought we weren't keeping secrets from each other."

"Sabina's right. What's so important about this place that we need to stop during vacation and go in alone?"

"Do you owe someone money?"

Elena groaned. "Fine. You guys want to know what the deal is? Then just come with me."

Shit. They'd gone and upset her. Sabina and Jane had stopped being careful.

"We're sorry, baby", said Jane.

"If you don't want us around-"

"No", Elena cut Sabina off. "No, it's fine. If you don't come now, then I'm just delaying the inevitable. Just come with me."

Elena let out a sigh of defeat before exiting the car and leading the two up the path to the house. She clenched her fists and put on a smile after she ran the doorbell. The door swung open and a well-aged woman in her fifties appeared before.

"Elena!", she rejoiced in a British accent. The woman squeezed Elena so hard that her bones nearly broke.

"Hi, Mom", said Elena, gasping for air.

Sabina and Jane were stunned. They didn't exactly know what to expect but it certainly wasn't this.

Elena's mom gasped once she saw them and let go of Elena. "Is this them?"

"Yeah, it is", she answered. She turned to her girlfriends. "Sabina. Jane. This is Rachel Houghlin. My Mom."

"It's lovely to meet you", said Jane, shaking Rachel's hand.

Sabina threw an arm around Elena. "Yeah, Elena has told us so so SO MUCH about you, haven't you?"

Before Elena could say anything, another woman appeared in the doorway. She was an artsy type, glass of wine in hand, wearing dark colors. She looked to be about the same age as Rachel. "Well, well, well. Look who's finally decided to visit", she said, also with an accent.

Rachel playfully slapped her arm. "Honey!"

"I kid because I love", said the artsy woman. "When are you going to hug me?"

Elena gave her a bear hug. "Nice to see you, Mother"

Sabina leaned over and whispered to Jane. "Mother?"

"Elena has two moms", Jane whispered back. "She mentioned it once. And you were both hungover when she did so that's probably why you don't remember."

"Ah."

"You must be the girlfriends", said Elena's mother. "I'm Lucy Houghlin. But please, call me 'Luce'."

Jane shook Luce's hand. "Nice to meet you, Luce"

"Can you be my mother", Sabina blurted out.

Elena was baffled. Luce chuckled. "I like this one, Laney"

"Please don't call me 'Laney'"

"I'm your mother. I'll call you what I want."

Jane snickered. "Can you be my mother too?"

"Why don't you all come in", said Rachel.

"I would love-", Sabina began but Elena cut her off.

"Actually, could you just give us a second?"

"Uh-oh", Luce joked. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Take all the time you need", said Rachel before closing the door.

Elena turned the the other two, a look of exasperation on her face. "Hey, babes", she said, sarcastically. "I know we're about to go on a much needed month-long trip of relaxation, cuddling, and intense love-making but like, can we make a quick stop so you can meet my moms?"

Sabina snickered. "Did you really just say 'love-making'?"

"I don''t see what the big deal is, Elena", said Jane, trying to be comforting. "Your moms seem really lovely."

"I know but this was pretty last minute and I didn't want this to be uncomfortable. But I've reached the point where I feel like I need to see them. I don't know why. I just need to."

"First off", Jane started. "We'll do whatever you ask of us, Elena. You're in a delicate state and we want to make this as easy to you as possible"

"And second", Sabina joined in. "If anyone's gonna feel uncomfortable, it'll be you. Because we're gonna ask your moms for a bunch of embarrassing high school stories"

Elena's eyes widened. "Oh, no. Don't-"

But before Elena could finish, Sabina threw the door open and ran into the house. Jane rolled her eyes but she knew that if Elena was feeling a lot better, then she'd have probably done the same.

Elena's moms didn't know their daughter and her girlfriends were secret agents. After all, that's how they got the title. So Elena had to spin the lie that Sabina and Jane were cops ("Gross" was all Sabina could say to that) and she worked in forensics. Jane and Sabina got to know the two of them pretty well. Rachel was marriage counselor and Luce was apparently a famous modern artist. For the first three years of her life, Elena was raised in England until Rachel and Luce moved to America.

But of course what Sabina and Jane were really interested in was what Elena was like as a kid. Sabina almost shut down when she found a framed picture of Elena as an infant. They two of them absolutely loved hearing about how Elena spent years tinkering in the garage and accidentally causing several fires.

"She's got a knack for knocking herself out actually", said Jane.

But of course those weren't the only embarrassing stories. The best one they heard was about how Elena ruined the _Matilda_ VHS tape, as a lot of the scenes featuring Miss Honey would start fuzzing out. The best moment, however, was going into Elena's old childhood room and seeing a bunch of posters of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. Elena kept turning redder and redder until it looked like she might actually explode.

After a few hours, the three of them had to get back on the road.

"It was lovely to me you both", said Jane.

"Yeah, thanks for all the embarrassing Elena stories that we'll never get tired of bringing up", said Sabina.

The two of them stood up to leave but Elena didn't get up. "You ready, love?"

"Yeah", she replied. "But can I just talk with them for a little bit?"

"Sure thing. We'll be waiting in the car."

The two walked out back to their car and Rachel immediately grilled her daughter. "What's going on?"

Elena was taken aback. "How could you tell?"

"Because your mom is the world's greatest marriage counselor in the world", said Luce. "Somehow, she always knows."

Elena sighed. "Yeah, there is something wrong. I've been pretty pretty depressed lately. And Jane and Sabina have been trying really hard to help but I'm not sure if I'm getting any better"

"Well, of course you aren't", said Rachel, taking her daughter's hand. "You need Sabina and Jane right now but it's not their job to save you from this. At some point, you're going to have to start doing the heavy lifting yourself. "

"Really?"

"It's true", said Luce. "After you moved out, I kinda went into a downward spiral. Your mother helped me get back on my feet but eventually I had to start trying to better myself. I took a break from work. I went back "

"Aww, Mother. You got sad when I left?"

"I did. Which is certainly why you should visit a lot more."

"I'm really busy, Mother!"

"Then call more, Laney!"

"Fine! I will call you more often", said an exasperated Elena. "And I will go see a therapist when we get back from Michigan. And I promised you that I will take time off work" Her moms looked at her knowingly. "You're right. You two are always right. That's why I came here in the first place. Thank you."

"Of course I'm always right", said Rachel. "I'm the best marriage counselor in the world"

"Can you two just quit being cocky and hug me?"

Elena hugged her moms and bid them farewell. She hopped back into the car where her girlfriend was waiting for her, Sabina in the driver's seat and Jane in the back. 

"They were very lovely people", said Jane.

"Plus, by default, they're all our moms now", said Sabina.

"I'm not sure that's how it works", said Elena.

"Please? They're so much better than my actual parents"

"They seem like they wouldn't mind", Jane persuaded.

Elena decided to play along. "I'll see what I can do"

"Yay! You hear that, Jane? We might get parents!"

"You two are so weird", Elena joked. "I'm the most normal person in this relationship"

"At least we didn't ruin the _Matilda_ VHS tape", Sabina remarked.

"Hey!"

"Don't worry, Sprinkles", said Jane. "Sabina and I have figured out how to balance things out"

Elena was certainly intrigued. "I'm listening"

Sabina showed Elena a picture on her phone. "This is my high school photo"

Elena took one look at the photo and one detail immediately stood out. "Is that a nose ring?!?"

"I had a nose ring, yes"

"This is the best day of my life!"

"It gets better", said Sabina. "Show her, Jane"

Jane rolled her eyes. "I don't really think I have to"

"We made an agreement! For Elena!"

Jane groaned and showed her phone to Elena. "Fine."

Elena's jaw hit the floor. "Pigtails and glasses?!?"

"Don't forget the braces", Sabina pointed out.

Jane snatched her phone back. "Alright. Everything is balanced."

Elena flashed doe eyes at Jane. "Can you put on glasses?"

Sabina did the same. "Please?"

"Only if Sabina gets a nose ring"

"...Ya know, Elena, she doesn't need to put on glasses"

"Yes, she does!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooray for 'imagine me and you' references


	12. The House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio alive at the lake house and Elena makes a confession.

Sabina and Jane had switched places one last time, as Sabina was beginning to grow tired. As soon as Jane was back in the driver's seat, Sabina had completely fallen asleep, head resting on Elena's shoulder. Elena almost nodded off several times but kept waking herself up almost as soon as her eyelids began to close. Every now and then, Jane would look in the rear view mirror and notice Elena.

"Elena, love", she said, "You know you can sleep, right? We're not going to be there for a few more hours"

"Yeah, I know", said Elena, before stifling a yawn. Jane knew that Elena kept bouncing her leg, as she could feel the vibration. 

"Elene, love. Are you bouncing your leg to try and stay awake or are you anxious?"

Elena slowly began to rest her head on Sabina's. "A bit of both, I guess."

Jane sighed, knowing the reason why Elena was so afraid to fall asleep. "Is it the nightmare again?"

Elena let out another long yawn. "Maybe"

"Elena, there's nothing to worry about. You don't know it's going to happen."

"But it has happened", Elena moaned. "Almost every time."

Jane wanted to pull over to the side of the road again so she could hop over to the backseat to squeeze Elena tight and tell her it was all going to be fine. And it seemed like Elena could read Jane's mind at that very moment.

"You don't ha-" Elena yawned again. "You don't have to stop. I'm alright."

Jane went along with her. "You seem okay, all things considered"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Was it your talk with your moms?"

Elena caught herself from falling asleep again. She stifled another yawn. "What was that?"

"Before we left, you stayed behind for a bit and talked with your moms. Did it help?" 

"You know what? Yeah. It did. It helped."

Jane smiled. They were finally getting somewhere. "What, um... What exactly did you talk about?"

Jane eagerly anticipated an answer. However, Elena choose to keep it vauge. "Oh, nothing much, really. Just mother/daughter stuff, you know how it is."

"Actually", Jane, responded, coldly. "I don't"

Elena could tell she had struck a nerve. "Oh... right. I'm sorry."

Jane choose to brush it aside, knowing that she might get somewhere with Elena. "Don't worry about it, Sprinkles. I was just wondering if you and your moms talked about anything significant. That's all."

Elena exhaled deeply. "Actually, there was something significant. But I'd rather talk about it when we're all awake"

Okay. No big deal. Elena would open up eventually. Only a matter of time. But then Elena said something that almost caused Jane to snap. "Hey, Princess. Thanks for talking with me. It's really helping me stay awake."

Jane was having none of it. Whether she liked it or not, Elena needed some rest. She tried being calm. So she decided it was time to try the opposite approach. The Sabina Wilson approach... Annoy somebody into submission. Jane paired her phone to the car radio and chose the most annoying song she could think of.

Elena heard a sudden blast of fake drums and blaring synth coming from the car radio. She thought she recognized it almost immediately. "Is this 'Never Gonna Give You Up'? Because if it is, I'm numb to it."

Jane laughed, wickedly. "Close. It's Astley's other song."

"Other so-" Elena froze in fear. "Oh no... Is this..."

Before Elena could finish, she heard the voice of the infamous British singer. _"Together forever and never to part."_

"No", Elena groaned. "I hate this song!"

_"Together forever, we too."_

Jane laughed some more. "I wouldn't mind listening to this for the next few hours.

_"And don't you know I would move Heaven and Earth to be together forever with you"_

Elena scoffed. "You can't even annoy me with a good song? Or a quiet song? What about 'Lost Boy'?"

"I'll turn it off on one condition", Jane said over the booming voice. "You have to go to sleep"

Elena hesitated to answer but the silence meant she had to keep listening to the song. "Okay! Okay! I'll go to sleep!"

Jane pressed a button and the car radio was off. "Are you going to sleep now?"

Elena shut her eyes. "Yes! I'm going to sleep now!"

"Are you sure? You sound awake!"

"I'll sleep if you stop talking!"

"Now?"

"Yes, now!"

"Okay!" And Jane remained silent... for exactly ten seconds. "You asleep yet", she asked softly.

Silence. She looked in the rear-view mirror. Elena and Sabina were fast asleep.

It was a few more hours before they had finally arrived at Sullivan's Landing. By the time they had arrived, it was right before sundown and Elena and Sabina were still asleep. She once again paired her phone with the car radio and turned up the volume.

_"Together forever and never to part"_

Elena and Sabina bolted awake. "What happened", Sabina yelled.

"Please turn that off", Elena groaned, irritably.

Jane started laughing again before shutting the radio off. "I'm sorry. I just never get to be the irritable one".

"You're being a real Sabina right now", Elena joked.

Sabina rubbed her eyes. "It's too early for this."

"It's not even eight in the evening yet, love", said Jane. "We've made it to our destination."

"We're here", Sabina asked. Jane cheerfully nodded. "We're here!" She grabbed Elena by the shoulders and began shaking her excitedly. "We're here, Laney!"

"I know we're here", Elena shouted, enthusiastically. "But please stop shaking me! You're making me dizzy!"

Sabina obliged and after about a minute of Elena collecting herself, the three of them collected their bags from the drunk and approached the house, only to find a surprise waiting for them on the porch.

Their neighbors, Mackenzie, Ana, and their young daughter, Bea, were standing on the porch, with a box in Ana's hand. Mackenzie was actually an old girlfriend of Sabina's back when they were teenagers. They didn't meet for years after until Sabina returned to the lake house years later, along with Elena and Jane. When they reunited, Sabina discovered that Mackenzie had married a woman named Ana and they had adopted a young girl together. They were actually really good neighbors and friends. However, there was one downside.

"I still want kids", Elena whispered, waving at them.

"We'll talk about this later", Jane whispered, smiling through gritted teeth.

"I'm a better Auntie than a Mom", whispered Sabina, before throwing her bag into Jane's arm and running up to the porch. "How's my Bea", she shouted.

"Auntie 'Bina!", the child screamed as she jumped into Sabina's arms.

"Look how big you've gotten!"

Jane and Elena actually made it up to the porch, where they greeted Mackenzie and Ana. "Kids, amrite", said Mackenzie.

"Actually", Jane began. "We don't-"

"I want kids", Elena interrupted. Jane rolled her eyes. "There's three of us so there's a higher chance they'll turn out amazing"

"I said we'll talk about it later", Jane said, sternly. "Not to mention Sabina is still going through her pick-up phase"

"Pick-up line phase", Ana asked with her thick cuban accent.

"She comes up with the cheesiet and grossest pick-up lines. And we love her for it."

"Here's one", Elena chimed in. "Hey, Jane. Roses are red. So are your lips. You should sit on my face and wiggle your hips"

Jane and Mackenzie snickered while Ana scoffed. "Mackenzie still uses them"

"Hey, honey", said Mackenzie.

"No", groaned Ana. Jane and Elena stood there, filled with anticipation.

"Roses are straight. Violets are twisted. Bend over, love. You're about to get..."

It took a second for Ana to understand. Then it dawned on her. "Ew! No!", she exclaimed, only partially disgusted.

"I didn't even finish."

Ana handed Elena a box and rubbed her eyes. "There's a cake in here. Have a good night. I'm very tired.", she said before walking off the porch.

"No wonder you used to date Sabina", Jane remarked.

Ana picked up a tired Bea and bid Sabina good night. "It's lovely to see you again. I'd love to stay up later but-"

"Pick-up line", Sabina asked. 

"Yeah", Ana said, annoyed. "You know, I can come up with them too"

"I don't believe it", said Sabina. "Prove it"

"I have a toddler in my arm", said Ana, lowering her voice. Bea's eyes were starting to flutter. "So I'll whisper it."

Ana whispered into Sabina's ear and her jaw hit the floor. "So if you weren't married and I didn't have two girlfriends, I would totally-"

"I know", Ana winked.

Elena sat at the edge of the lake early next morning. She dipped her feet in the lake and watched the sunrise. There was a slight breeze so it wasn't too hot outside. It was very peaceful but somewhat empty. She wished her girlfriends would join her but there was no way Sabina and Jane would be awake so early in the morning. Or so she thought.

"Ya know, you could have invited us to join you", came Sabina's voice from behind her.

Sabina and Jane stood behind her. Jane was wide awake while Sabina, leaning against Jane, was still clearly a little tried.

"You guys were asleep", said Elena.

"Honestly, the moment one of us slips out of bed is when the rest of us wake up"

Jane snapped her fingers. "Just like that"

They walked over to the edge of the lake and sat on both sides of Elena.

"Another night without the nightmare", said Jane. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing fine"

"Just fine", asked Sabina.

"I mean", Elena shrugged. "It's better than terrible, I guess"

"If you say so", said Jane.

They sat there enjoying themselves for another minute before Sabina, as always, spoke up.

"So, Jane told me that there was something you needed to tell us"

"She said she would tell us once we arrived", said Jane. "But only if you want to tell us"

"I do", said Elena. She took another long exhale. "I love you two so much. And... I really appreciate all you've been doing for me. But-"

"Oh, shit. Are you breaking up with us", Sabina joked.

Jane gave her a scolding look while Elena quietly chuckled.

"As I was saying", Elena continued. "I was talking with my moms and we agreed that this is the point where I have to do this on my own."

Sabina raised an eyebrow. "Wait, are you breaking up with us?"

"Sabina", Jane shushed.

"Of course not. I don't know what I'd do without you two. But I can't just rely on you two alone. I need to start seeing a psychiatrist when we get back."

"Well, what about the missions", asked Jane.

"Don't you want to take a psych eval first", asked Sabina.

"I will", said Elena. "I promise... but after a few months of therapy"

Sabina and Jane had what seemed like a telepathic conversation, as they looked at each knowingly. "I'm proud of you", said Jane. "I'm glad you're taking the right steps. Isn't that right, Sabina?"

The two of them looked over at Sabina and saw her eyes welling up with tears. "I love you, Elena!" She wrapped her arms around her.

"I love you too, Sabina."

"This is really big of you!"

"It's not that big of a deal"

"I'm gonna throw you into the lake now!"

Elena's eyes widened. "Sabina, if you-"

Before Elena could finish, Sabina threw herself and Elena into the lake. And Jane jumped in soon after. Once they emerged, Elena tackled Sabina back underwater.

"How are you feeling", Jane asked, excitedly.

"I love my girlfriends!", Elena shouted.

"Aw, babe", said Jane, hand to her chest.

"We love you t-", Sabina started. But before she could finish, Elena and Jane tackled her back underwater.


	13. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena takes the next big step.

Like the first time they had spent there, it was almost exactly what they needed. Away from the facility, the medical ward, and any sort of dangerous mission, Elena was alone with Sabina and Jane, as well as the occasional visit from their neighbors. No matter what the did, the best part was whenever it was just the three of them huddled together. That was when Elena felt the safest. She didn't want to let them out of her sight. She wanted to be close to them at all times. Not just because this was when she felt warm and soft but also because she knew nothing bad could happen to Sabina and Jane if they were right there next to her.

For the first few days, they repeatedly did whatever Elena wanted to do. However, after a few days, Elena didn't want them to feel left out. So she decided to do whatever the two of them wanted instead. She would regret this almost immediately once Sabina had suggested karaoke (Hearing Sabina's rendition of 'Kill the Director' almost made up for the fact that she made all of them sing a Spice Girls song).

Jane, on the other hand, said she didn't want anything specific and that she would do whatever her girlfriends wanted. After a few days, however, there was no way that she was going to let Sabina choose the daily activity. The first thing she chose was archery, which she begin to regret once Elena almost shot her in the knee.

The only downsides of the trip was that, every few days, Elena would have the nightmare again. However, she was always immediately calmed down by her girlfriends every time (with the exception of one night when Sabina was having a midnight snack and the other two spent five minutes trying to figure out where she was). 

But the month had to come to an end eventually. The three of them bid farewell to their neighbors. The goodbye between Sabina and young Bea was particularly long. They, once again, promised that they would return again in June of the following year before loading up the car. As she sat in the backseat, with Jane beside her and Sabina and the driver's seat, she took one last look at the house and one last look at the lake. Jane couldn't help but noticed.

"They'll be here next year, Elena"

"That was a rhyme", Sabina exclaimed. "Jane made a rhyme!"

"However, Sabina might not be here next year", Jane remarked.

The three of them shared a laugh and, with that, they drove off.

A few days after they returned to L.A., the Angels took a psych evaluation. Jane passed, surprising no one. She was usually a tough nut to break. Sabina passed as well, although it took a bit longer for her to get cleared as she was usually pretty strange. Elena, however, decided to forego a psych eval. She knew she wasn't ready to go back into the field. She was afraid that Bosley wouldn't let her go ahead with this. However, as soon as she mentioned that she was going to start therapy, Bosley understood perfectly. However, the same couldn't be said about Sabina and Jane. Elena had started therapy that day and, while she was out, the two of them asked Bos if they could extend their break.

"I'm sorry, you two", Bosley said, bossily. "But the rules can't be bent so easily."

"Well, why n-"

Sabina was cut off by Jane, who was afraid that their request would come off as fretful or irritable. "What Sabina means to say is that we can't go off on missions while Elena is going through this. What if she panics sand thinks we're not going to come back?"

"Because-", Bosley started, before Sabina interrupted her.

"Also, I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to handle a mission if it makes me think that Elena's back at home, probably freaking out about us. I'll probably crack under pressure!"

"The thing is-"

"Look, Bos", Jane began. "I know we just took the month off but this is a difficult time for her and we-"

"SHE ASKED ME NOT TO!", Bosley shouted abruptly. She tried to let them down easy before but she felt so ambushed by them that she couldn't help but explode.

Jane was stunned. Sabina nervously put up a fake smile before Jane and whispered into Bosley's ear. "I thought Charlie's gender was a secret or something"

Bosley rolled her eyes. "It's not... It's... No."

Sabina backed away, somewhat confused. "Oh. So. Um. Who are we talking about exactly?"

"Elena, honey", Jane explained. "She's talking about Elena"

A bit of shock still remained on Jane's face. Sabina looked back at Bosley with a heartbroken look on her face. "Does Elena not want us around?"

Jane began to look heartbroken as well. "She doesn't think we've been smothering her, has she?"

Bosley put her hand on Sabina's shoulder. "Of course not. She just doesn't want you to, and I quote, 'put your lives on hold' for her"

Sabina turned to Jane. "So what do we do now?"

Jane rubbed her eyes. "I guess we go back to the way things used to be. Except without Elena."

Bosley looked at her reassuringly. "It's just until she's okay. It'll take a lot of work but she'll be better in no time" She glanced at the two of them, still looking sullen. "Hey. I know it's the middle of the afternoon. But do you guys want to get some drinks?"

Jane nodded without saying a word and Sabina replied in the most 'Sabina' way possible. "Fuck it. Why not?"

When Elena got home, Sabina and Jane weren't there. However, she could tell where they were from the constant drunk texts she had been receiving. The two of them didn't return back to the apartment until later that night. Unsurprisingly, the two were both incredibly drunk. They collapsed into bed and confessed that Bosley had told them everything. Elena responded by confessing to them that Bosley had drunk texted her about how she had already told them. As usual, they all fell asleep holding each other. And, of course, Sabina fell asleep after Jane. Before she passed out, Sabina managed to ask one last question.

"Hey, Elena", Sabina slurred.

"Yeah", Elena yawned.

"Are ya gonna worry about us when we're on missions"

"I promise", Elena moaned.

However, Elena didn't keep that promise. For months, every time they were out on a mission. Elena would lie in bed or pace around the house, eagerly awaiting Bosley's voice to come through her tat-com and assure her that Sabina and Jane were okay. It came every time but the wait was agonizing. Luckily, the more Elena went to therapy, the more tricks and tips she was given to calm herself down. Deep breaths every half-hour, reciting a personal manta, Sabina's 'look around the room' method, etc. The longer the months went on, the less Elena would worry. Why would she have to worry? Sabina and Jane had been in this game much longer than she had. They knew exactly what they were doing. After a while, she still worried. This was the most dangerous job in the world. She still felt sad about the events that had transpired all those months ago but the more confident she got that the duo would indeed come back to her every time, the more confident she began to grow in herself.

One day, Sabina and Jane came home from a mission to find that Elena wasn't there.

"I tried calling her", said Sabina. "It all went to voicemail."

"I'll text Bos", said Jane. "Maybe she told her where she was going or-"

Their panicking ended when they heard the door key turn. The door open and they saw Elena, smiling and holding a box in her hands. "Oh, hey." She placed the box on a nearby chair. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon" Right away, Elena was ambushed by hugs. "I missed you both too"

"We didn't know where you were", said Jane.

"Don't scare us like that", exclaimed Sabina.

"Relax. I just didn't think you'd be back so soon.

The two released her once they realized what was okay. "So...", said Jane. "What's in the box?"

"I think that can wait. How was your mission? Must have been a boring one if it ended so early."

"Hey!", Sabina chimed in. "You freaked us out. We thought the worst. The least you could do was show us what's in the box... pretty please"

Elena smiled, picked up, and opened the box. "It's a cake"

And across the vanilla frosting were the words "Guess who passed their psych eval!"

Jane and Sabina couldn't believe their eyes. "Are you serious", the asked simultaneously.

Elena was grinning now. "Yeah", she said breathlessly. She put the cake back on the chair, as she knew what was about to happen next.

Next thing, she knew she was caught in the middle of a hug sandwich between the two of them. "We're so proud of you, Sprinkles", Jane proclaimed.

"So proud that we're not even going to think about the look on the cake guy's face when you told him what you wanted him to write on the cake", Sabina joked.

Elena laughed and then went silent. She wanted to enjoy this. This moment between the three of them. The moment we she realize that, despite the fact that she still had a ways to go, she could do anything. And Sabina and Jane would always be there for her.


End file.
